Category Archives: heart of prayer

Bringing Young Life Camp to my “Daily Grind” – part 2

July 31, 2014Busyness, heart of prayer, joy, Like a little child, personal growth, Purpose, Young Lifelouise

My last post was part one about the wonderful experience Rob and I had at Young Life Camp as two of nine adult guests. As hard as it was to leave home and the office for a week with no responsibilities (spoken tongue in cheek, and in all seriousness), both of us came back better people for it! I encourage you to scroll down to the last blog — or not. 😉

Continuing with observations in no particular order, because I am overwhelmed with things to take away and apply in Tallahassee (this is really #5, but it’s above my paygrade to get my blog to start numbering there for a new post):

all these and more got fresh clean towels!

There were roughly 700 people at Young Life Camp. Over 600 were campers, a handful of full time staff (what an amazing job for these talented people), and A LOT of mostly high school and college-aged volunteers who gave their summer and paid their way there to work for free, so that kids could have a blast and hear about Jesus! Young Life exemplifies a servant’s heart. 700+ people — all provided comfy beds with crisp, clean linens, towels in the cabin, towels by the lake and pool (thats a LOT of cleaning and washing and folding EVERYDAY for the tawashies and laundry girls – makes my job at home look ridiculously easy). We all had our quarters cleaned (including the private bath each cabin enjoyed), 21 meals and countless snacks for all 700+ people all week long. Home cooked and served at a seated meal — baked breads, buns and desserts (at least twice a day). Linen napkins folded differently each night … teachers, life guards, actors, singers, hometown leaders (deserving a number all their own)… all serving the safety, comfort and care of campers with varying dietary concerns, disabilities and boundless energy — and all doing it to speak the Gospel to the campers and invite them to trust in Jesus. The staff and volunteers are all a tremendous testament to the power of Jesus in our lives, if we let Him. John 11:26 says “If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servant be also. If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him. As a mom, that servant’s heart came naturally when my children were young, and I held various “official” volunteer roles. But what about in my everyday life as a member of the sandwich generation? At the office? With my neighbors? The questions deserve my prayer that God will reveal intentional paths to serve Him and others in little private ways — while continuing my planned neglect, as I seek His will.
At Young Life’s core are the volunteer leaders in each high school, Many of them are college students juggling academics, other extra curricular activities, the development of their own faith, jobs… and still they give an unimaginable amount of time to high school kids. They develop relationships and earn the right through love and caring to speak about Jesus. They don’t let the crazy busy pace of college or the culture stop them from serving. They sit at high school ball games, lunchrooms and hangouts. They make real friends. They prepare weekly for club and share their stories, all in the hopes a child will come to camp for “the best week of their lives,” to hear the Gospel and accept Jesus as their personal Savior. At camp they are in the trenches and the bunks. Exhausted, they rely on Jesus to answer questions, wipe tears, and to give them the stamina to pray and play hard. Their maturity of faith and their love for Jesus and the kids are both powerfully evident. But camp is only the beginning! They come home with the kids and lead them in Bible studies and the beginnings of a lifelong walk of faith. These YL leaders inspire me! What plan do I have to intentionally love people and lead them to Christ? Am I busier than the next person? 50 years are behind me. I’ve taught Sunday school and led countless Bible studies, but after camp I felt compelled to pray for forgiveness. How much more I could have loved and lived out the Great Commission (Matthew 28:19-20). Couldn’t I have at least one or two people God places on my heart to chase after for Him? To pursue in love, showing them Jesus in the process? Learning about their work and family, inviting them to church? And then never stop being available to the next one Jesus places on my heart? I want my “back nine” to count so much more for eternity!
Rest. At Sharp Top Cove, despite the full schedule and borderline chaos at times, I felt rest — Sabbath Rest. I’m guessing others did too… like the little boy who said it was the first time in a long time he had felt safe while sleeping. Rest is important. It’s a gift from God, and a commandment. Currently I am under the weather and resting with Him.
At Camp I experienced God’s abundance in wonderful ways. I don’t know the intricacies of Young Life’s budget, but I do know that they don’t carry debt to fund projects. They pray and build after the money is in — and then they celebrate God’s bountiful blessings! How? The average meal (and I’m talking about good food — even the adults with developed pallets love it) costs $1.71, because they are good stewards and they have a kitchen FULL of volunteer cooks, dish washers, bakers and servers — the body of Christ willing to humbly serve. Without them, camp wouldn’t work. I think God is powerfully multiplying some loaves and fishes here, because at Young Life Camp, we all felt His provision in every way (even in the weather that was forecast to be rain and more rain — but proved to be beautiful!). Psalm 65:11 promises “You crown the year with your bounty; your wagon tracks overflow with abundance.” At YL, they EXPECT God to show up and work miracles. They don’t believe they can accomplish His work without His Hand, nor do they want to. Whatever He provides, they work with it. And all credit, praise and honor goes to God. I’m not a nonprofit — so how can anything similar apply to me? Am I a good steward of all God has given me? Do I give freely of my time, possessions, and talents, specifically for His Kingdom? And most importantly for my life, am I actively joining where God is already at work — to use the gifts He has given me as part of the body? Sometimes, I’m too much of an island. I go to church and leave, and try to accomplish God’s will and commands with just the two of us. At camp, I saw the power of community working together, corporate prayer and worship. I think if I listen, He will call me to humble and stretch myself — to serve as the “pinky toe” (or wherever He leads me) of the body of Christ in whatever place He is already moving. This in addition to where Jesus wants me to act privately and personally.
At Young Life Camp they meet people where they are. In Mark 2:17 Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” It’s not the mission of Young Life to judge or fix people, but to love them and show them the way to Jesus. God does the rest. To accomplish their calling takes tolerance and authenticity. A few kids spout expletives and ridicule the process. They are loved in return. Many leaders courageously share their stories. Stories of anger, failure, self righteousness, promiscuity, pride, partying and the like. Stories of brokenness; stories like mine and possibly yours. But they don’t stop there. They share how through the valleys and mountaintops, Jesus restores us! He saves us and heals us. They share how much fuller and more abundant life is with Jesus — and the kids see it for themselves and know it is true.

The campers are attracted to the Salt and Light that is all over camp — or they choose to run from it. Whether the campers accept Jesus at camp, later in life, or not at all — they have heard and experienced His Truth. They have seen His reflection in the faces of His children, and it is beautiful. That is something I can definitely bring home to Tallahassee. I hope Pink Reflections (my blog) is a little part of reflecting Jesus to the body and those living outside their purpose.

Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Young Life.

God’s Will and Planned Neglect

July 14, 2014Busyness, heart of prayer, personal growth, Purpose, sandwich generationlouise

A friend of mine died yesterday of cancer.

I wasn’t a part of taking care of her, talking to her about death or Jesus, cooking her meals or taking her to chemo appointments. Nor did I have a chance to say good bye. It never seemed appropriate, and now she’s gone.

I did pray for her many times… for her salvation, for her miraculous healing that would point obviously to God, for her peace in the unknown, for there to be many who surrounded her and let her know she mattered — she is loved. And I prayed that those who were with her would be given God’s words to comfort her.

Was prayer enough? Was it really all God called me to do for my friend? When I heard she had died, my eyes filled with sadness — and then I began second guessing myself, “Should I have written her (I had thought about it often)? Visited? Done something more? Anything? Do people think I didn’t care because I didn’t go?”

After giving the news of her death time to sink in, I am still very sad, but I am at peace with my role. I believe prayer was my calling for my friend’s final months. It was my privilege to pray for her. (For clarity, she had many other much closer friends caring for her, and she was surrounded by loved ones at the end.)

Sometimes I have said an enthusiastic “Yes!” to a worthy cause without asking God about it first. In fact, my adult life has followed a predictable cycle from over-invovlement… to overwhelm and exhaustion… to withdrawal, recovery and isolation… then feelings of guilt that I’m not doing my part (most recently at the idea that I was no longer a stay-at-home Mom, but only a stay-at home person — what value could I have in that?)… to over-involvement…

There have been other times when God has asked me to do something. I’ve hesitated — and the opportunity was lost forever. Like one summer when I specifically felt God leading me to take weekly trips to visit my parents 2.5 hours away, in order to write their life story. I talked to them about it, but never followed through. As it turns out, God’s timing (meaning my immediate response to Him) was critical. Isn’t it always?

My father was diagnosed with Primary Progressive Aphasia just months later; he has lost the ability to communicate verbally. My mom is consumed with her new roles. We visit, but we don’t talk much about their story or my writing it.

The book I felt called to write will probably never be written. The visits as I imagined them are certainly lost. I will never know how God would have used that time together with my beloved mom and dad. I was not His surrendered and available servant. I was too busy with my own ideas of what I should do for God and even my family, to acknowledge His will for both.

I still grieve (tears fill my eyes as I type), not only the unwritten story, but that I first believed God was speaking to me, then doubted it. I wondered if I was just giving God credit for my thoughts, in order to make them more legitimate. Was I the right one to write a book about my parents? And would anyone read it? Would they enjoy the process? Would they take me seriously, and was I up to the task? God seemed to see a purpose in my attempt (He never promised an outcome). Other things — important things like children, seminary, volunteering, Bible Studies — seemed more pressing to me at the time. I never said no to God, nor did I act right away. My delayed actions spoke louder than my prayers.

In a word I disobeyed what God wanted me to do, because of my own insecurities, the world’s opinion and the fact that my plate felt full with many other truly good things. Sadly, it’s not the only time I have ignored God’s quiet voice, because the world yells louder and I am more attentive to the crowd and my own well-intentioned agenda.

God is speaking to me about busyness. About conforming to the chaos of the world, when His way is quite simple. About the value of being still, quiet and available. About listening to Him, and responding.

Recently, I read a very pointed article by Randy Alcorn entitled “How to Plan Neglect: Saying No to Good Things So We Can Say Yes to the Best.” I’ve been collecting “resources” on busyness, and keeping the first thing (God) first — well above all the worthy second tier things of the world. But I haven’t DONE much about changing my life. I haven’t allowed God to transform and renew my mind.

I’ve written many times about how Romans 12: 1-2 is on my heart — The Message says it this way: “So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.”

There are so many needs in the world, so many good things to be done. The older I get (and I am fast approaching 50 — in less than two weeks), the more I need to say no to many good things, even if I’m disappointing people in doing so. My most basic commitments to God and my family (see the sandwich generation) need to be fulfilled first.

I’m learning the importance of living in such a way that I leave space. Space for time with God and space for knowing and obeying His will. As Randy Alcorn put it, “I must say no to people considering the vast majority of good things they invite me to, in order to be available to say yes to God concerning that small number of things He has truly called me to.“

I know what it’s like to live exhausted from doing good things, from trying to be all things to everyone — and knowing that nothing and no one is getting my best, including those few God-things I’m called to.

Alcorn went on to give this advice — taking things way further than I had ever dreamed. He said, “NEVER say yes without asking whether this is one of those exceptional things God really wants you to do. Tell Him that unless He smacks you on the side of the head and makes it clear, you will assume He DOESN’T want you to do it. This is planned neglect. We need to neglect the things that countless people want us to do, so that we will be available to do what God wants.”

Do I agree? Better yet, does the Bible support this stance? Just glancing through a few verses The Word seems to sing a resounding YES!

Ephesians 5:15-17 “Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.”

2 Corinthians 1:12 “For our boast is this, the testimony of our conscience, that we behaved in the world with simplicity and godly sincerity, not by earthly wisdom but by the grace of God, and supremely so toward you.”

James 1:22 “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.”

Matthew 6:33 “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

John 5:30 “I can do nothing on my own. As I hear, I judge, and my judgment is just, because I seek not my own will but the will of him who sent me.”

1 Corinthians 2:14 “The natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned.”

God really has given us a simple plan for living right. I want to be available to listen to God and obey Him — to follow Him — when he whispers or nudges me with His unplanned and unexpected divine assignments. If I’m booked tight, overwhelmed and exhausted with my leading moments, I will miss Him.

On my recent trip abroad, God provided me space — space to breathe, space to rest, space to be still with Him. Space to see from a different perspective and ask His opinions.

More to come on what I am learning and the world’s inevitable response to my upcoming “no’s,” as I journey toward allowing Romans 12:1-2 to become a reality in my life. What I know to be true is often slow in reaching my heart and actions. As I seek to give up living as it seems right and natural to me, I will consciously make room for a new way of quiet obedience in the everydayness of life. This idea of planned neglect is much different than what I have lived. It’s a little scary, but I feel God’s nudge…

Proverbs 14:12 “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.”

Is it “just stress” or am I losing my mind?

June 16, 2014Busyness, Freedom, gratitude, heart of prayer, personal growthlouise

I’m going to be really vulnerable here — sometimes I’m really scared I’m losing it, my mind.

Whether it’s from multiple concussions, early alzheimers, menopause, stress or toxins in the environment … I don’t have the mental capacity I once did. I forget — a lot.

Just today, I was sitting in an 8:30 meeting at work, when my friend arrived for our breakfast date. I had totally forgotten. On the way home this afternoon, Rob and I stopped for gas. The station wasn’t open, so I said that I’d get gas later. About 30 minutes later, I called to tell him the fuel guage must be broken; it was registering “E” despite the fact that we… only his confusion stopped me from resetting the odometer so we could guestimate the fuel consumption on our trip tomorrow. I thought a solution to the problem out really thoroughly — in my insanity! I felt the tears. Tears of fear and frustration. I stifled them and finished my to do list.

Soon I leave for Europe. God in his goodness, wisdom and gracious love has seen fit to send me away! We are headed to Greece and Italy — countries known to be laid back. Chill. Slow. I need this vacation.

I am amazed at the Italian’s lack of preoccupation with productivity and worry, and their vibrant attentiveness to LIFE — even as they work! So much life: beauty, emotion, sharing… love.

My prayer is that the stress I feel throughout my body and mind will melt away from me, as I relax and enjoy this wonderful opportunity. Exhale…

What’s my part while I’m on vacation?

I’ll relax and trust my husband, who is amazingly organized, calm, fun and wonderful to travel with. On our first trip together, I accidentally dropped my boarding pass in the toilet… I frantically rinsed it and tried to dry it in the hand drying blower — but I didn’t need to. Rob had an extra for me! The guy is amazing in his care and foresight — and a gift from God.

I won’t take a cell phone, and we’ll only check email enough to be prudent. As much I like to feel needed, I’ll trust our team at work to do things well in our absence. I’ll trust that our wonderful, competent children will cope with all that comes down the pike. And while I have a tear and a catch in my stomach at going so far away, I’ll trust that Mom and Dad are well loved and cared for by so many; they will do well despite my absence.

I’ve been excessively stressed — almost under water — these last few weeks. I think I’ve lived in chronic stress for so long, that I am immune to my warning symptoms. I’ve never fully let God heal me of “stressed out” as my status quo. I’ve lived with the feeling that I am in a tank, water (representative of stress) is about to my neck — all the time. That is my stress plumb line, so to speak. Where I live. A stressful event, or even an accumulation of little stresses, can leave me struggling to breathe with my nose almost under.

Jesus said, “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?” (Matthew 2:25)

I’ve been blessed not to need to worry a lot about the basics: food, clothing and shelter — but I am little consumed with a “materialism” of sorts. I worry about my children navigating their careers and relationships. I want them to flourish and be happy without big troubles and anxiety. I want my parents to have some sense of enjoyment in their golden years. I have a picture of what I think is best for Rob and me. Basically, I want a comfy, cozy, happy, do-good life for everyone — and it takes a lot of energy to strive for and maintain it all.

Believing the promises of this world and the “goods” it offers will not bring me happiness and it is a certain path to a stressed-out lifestyle — no matter what my socio-ecomomic status. A “wealth” of education, financial success, status, usefulness, good works, giving, leisure, family time, success of children, or whatever else I might idolize, will not bring me joy, contentment, happiness or life. Much of what the natural world offers is truly beautiful (like the Greek Isles, Italian sunsets and especially wonderful people), but my appetite for the world’s treasures is insatiable — and thus stressful if not kept in perspective.

The answer to stress begins and ends in Jesus. Jesus offers us great encouragement in John 14: 1: “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me.” We desperately need Him in our lives. He is the only one who can give us the strength to cope with the inevitable troubles in our lives.

Believing leads to the most important trusting of all I must do. I will trust God. Proverbs tells us to “trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” Leaning on “our own understanding” often means adopting the world’s ways of relieving stress— Instead, we are to trust Jesus and His Word as our guide. Only He can calm my stress and give abundant life here on earth.

Phillipians 4:6-7 says “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Then in John 14:27, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”

Stress of all kinds is a natural part of life. But how we deal with it is up to us. Will I create more stress in my life by following the world’s ways and listening to the world’s answers for my life? Will I try to make life work on my own terms? Will I covet happiness and a care-free life for myself and especially those I love? Or will I bow to God’s Sovereignty and Wisdom?

The only way we can effectively deal with stress is through Jesus Christ, first by believing in Him. Secondly, we have to trust Him and obey Him. God is always good. All the time. Doing things my way and wanting what I want when I want it (even good things) is sin. It separates me from God and His Joy and Peace. Obeying God is the path of true contentment. Finally, I need time with Him daily: to be filled with His Word. to give Him my burdens in prayer. It is only by His grace, mercy and love that the stress in our lives can be managed.

Where do Italy and Greece fit in? I’m not sure, but I do know this trip, like all of life, is a gift from God — from Him, about Him and for Him. I’ll praise Him and be thankful in all things! If I keep my eyes open and look for Him in all I see, I feel sure He will show me how my surrender — my trusting, believing, praying and obeying Him will heal my “stressed out” condition in these laid back cultures. I’m hoping stress will melt away on vacation. I’m excited and expectant — for the adventure and for what God will do in it!

And when He takes my stress away, I hope my mind can return to it’s rightful place.