Category Archives: Like a little child

The Serious Business of Playing

November 7, 2014Freedom, joy, Like a little child, personal growthlouise

Last night I spent 45 minutes exposing my complete incompetence. I was awkward, vulnerable, slow — and in the process, I was also delighted, energized and had an absolute blast! I left that time of inadequacy feeling exhilarated and wanting to share the new life that had been breathed into me.

It’s all about child’s play. Stay with me to see how playing is necessary and life giving!

I’m taking piano lessons — something new and completely outside my skill set. I grew up as more of a tomboy than musician, and like most adults who can’t play an instrument, I wish someone had forced me to stick with it when I was eight. Rob wanted to take guitar lessons, so why not learn something new myself? We enrolled in the music school at church. It sounded like a great empty nester activity.

I showed up the first night without giving much thought to what would transpire or how I would feel as a novice. As soon as I walked in the room, self-consciousness enveloped me. When he asked me to play something I knew, my mind went blank and I froze.

I’m every bit a beginner — like a little child, but different in one big way: the adult expectations I place on myself. I’m tense and impatient with my fumbling fingers. I know enough to recognize every wrong note. My adult expectations are an impediment to my learning and enjoyment. Negative self-talk abounds: “Wrong note! That didn’t sound right. I’m so bad at this… will I ever learn?” Adults aren’t used to being in situations where we’re inept: bungling, amateurish, and incapable.

My teacher, Steven is patient, encouraging and accepting. I arrive for lessons with anxiety, but he helps me to relax and enjoy music.

Tonight was my third lesson, and I was exhausted. Fatigue distracted me just driving to my lesson… you can imagine how poorly I was making music. Still, Steven said I looked (not sounded) more like a pianist. I didn’t really get it, but I was childishly giddy at my supposed progress — and felt a little life.

Possibly because I was struggling to translate the music into any obedience from my fingers, we practiced scales. I tried to relax my wrists between chords, as suggested. Funny how tense my whole body was; I was even holding my breath. I was pathetic. Literally, I couldn’t press three keys at the same time. We remediated my exercises a bit…

Maybe it was a God-thing when Steven related learning the piano to sports… something clicked for me.

straight from the pages of my 7th grade yearbook – lol

More than raw athleticism or good form, my mind game was my strong suit in tennis and basketball. By that I mean my ability to stay positive — to shake off my mistakes and have fun no matter what — often helped me succeed against more talented competitors.

I began playing both sports at a very young age — before I had many expectations for myself. Play was about fun. Relaxing, full of wonder, creativity, experimentation, and laughter. I shot baskets in the back yard and hit balls against the garage wall for hours. It fed my imagination with possibilities and my soul with life.

Concepts like work, practice and mastery weren’t a part. I was a little girl just playing, consumed in the present moment. Unselfconscious and excited with each little success. I created games around what I COULD do — and I always “won.” Curiosity and experimentation were just part of the game. I was a sponge for learning new thing and free to enjoy the whole process.

Can I bring those beautiful, childish qualities to my adult piano practice? I think so! Learning piano is a humbling reminder of my limitations — a great place to find enjoyment and identity NOT in what I accomplish, but in being myself with God and his creation (in this case, music). This shift in attitude would be fun, and perfectly in line with my true goal: I just want to “perform” praise songs and 70s rock when I’m home alone!

Hmmm. I think the application could be even broader. Could the experience of exposing my incompetence while having a blast in piano lessons help me to live all of my life more like a little child? Is it healthy to playfully display our vulnerabilities and weaknesses? To not take ourselves so seriously? Maybe so. I think this piano lesson mentality could grow into an attitude and lifestyle.

In Matthew 10:15 Jesus says “Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” It becomes clear to those listening to Jesus that heaven is not gained by human achievement or merit; it must be received as God’s gift through the simple trust of those who acknowledge their own inability, and accept His gift of salvation. Could the same be true of receiving abundant life?

The Bible describes us as children of God. As such, doesn’t it make sense that we should possess many qualities common to young children? Not those derived from immaturity, but rather those that reflect our dependence, wonder, humility, vulnerability, and receptiveness? Maybe one of the things He had in mind was that we, who are distracted by many important things, must rediscover a childlike capacity to play?

In all our focus on productivity and seriousness (including much of our “play”), we’ve made life rather dull. God is not boring! Rediscovering playfulness, which ultimately comes in union with Christ, puts the fullness of life back in our living. “Wasting time” doing things for the sheer fun of it restores our souls. Isn’t it possible that God means for “recreation” to re-create and renew us?

Laughter, fun and light-hearted play remind us to be fully engaged, but not to take the work of our present day with ultimate seriousness. It’s not a call to irresponsibility or a slacker mentality, rather a reminder that God’s future, which is also part of our present, is most serious. God is in control and working all things for good according to His plan. Our work is central, but it is a subset within the BIG picture. A play-ethic is a good counterbalance to our work-ethic.

It seems to me that play was an original and important part of the fourth commandment to Sabbath rest. Developing a Sabbath heart has the added benefit of bringing an attitude of playfulness to all of life and work. Our willingness to accept the play, rest and refreshment that Jesus offers is a sign of our faithfulness and trust in Him.

It works like magic, when I sit at that rickety bench for my piano lessons. The world’s obligations melt away. I am fully present in the moment — like a little child in Jesus’s lap accepting the bread of life. And the funny thing is — I’m no longer tired when I leave.

Similarly, God made our world a magical playground for us to enjoy. Jumping dolphin, hummingbirds, tumbling puppies. Ski slopes, water, woods and mountains. Music, art, sports and books. Gardens, spices, weather and people. The list and the variety is endless. All remind us of God — who He is and who we are in Him.

Childlike refreshment. I feel it as I exhale and rise from this — another artistic keyboard. God’s pleasure and my renewal as I go to make up beds, grocery shop, cook and clean — with a new bounce in my step and a song in my heart. A little taste of heaven on earth.

Tired of Today’s Crazy Daze? — “Olden days” Answers from Granny’s Abundant Life

October 25, 2014Busyness, gratitude, joy, Like a little child, loneliness, Purposelouise

I wish I could chat on the back porch or pick vegetables in the garden again with this beautiful lady. She was 70 when I was born. Until the last couple years of her life (she lived to be 107.5), I never thought of her as old — she was simply Granny, and I loved her with all my heart. Everyone who knew her did.

One of the last times I saw Granny, she asked if I had rose bushes — she thought I should. Sadly, I couldn’t say yes. At the time, I thought I was too busy to spend much time in the yard. My gardening wasn’t in the same league as hers — or my beautiful mother’s.

Now I’m an empty nester, and I know there’s much to learn from Granny — her life, her dinner table, garden and her roses — and that just maybe, I should have made time to apply the values, priorities and principles I so admired– even way back when I had young children. It’s never too late to learn worthy things from a life well lived.

Granny hadn’t been widowed very long when I was born. I’m sure she was lonely sometimes, but it wasn’t apparent to me. People were always at her house; she was vibrant, interesting and overflowing with love and caring. She didn’t let her struggles define her. I never heard many complaints about her own circumstances or the actions of others. To the contrary, there was a contentment about her that was very appealing. Even in the challenges of her later years, there was a graciousness about Granny that allowed her to accept her limitations with humor and peace.

A teacher at heart, she was well into her 90s when she volunteered to read at the elementary school. I’m sure she never thought of herself as “old on the inside.” Certainly not as obsolete or without value and purpose. Kid’s from all over town called her Granny — and loved her. I think they knew she sincerely cared for and enjoyed each one of them.

I always felt that way too. She wrote me regular letters in college, and when I moved nearby as an adult, she lovingly gave love and garden memories to my children and all their generation. She valued the simple things and lived a full life, much of it doing what others might consider mundane tasks. Her attitude and the joy she brought to her chores made them the heart of a beautiful life.

She cooked a big “dinner” (the noon meal) almost everyday and always had a table full of lively guests to enjoy fresh vegetables from her garden, cornbread, sweet tea… Everything was full of flavor — never lacking in protein, carbs or fat. Granny was back and forth to the kitchen — one of the most serving people I’ve ever known, but not in a “Martha” kind of way. Granny was a deliberate and attentive “Mary,” and time with her never felt rushed or stressful.

Granny's dining room and roses — Granny’s dining room and roses

Whether on the back porch with it’s chearful oil cloth and box fans or in the dining room with sterling silver and her best china and linens, dinner was about being together — often visiting for an hour or so after dessert. We were in south Georgia without air conditioning, but it’s funny, I’ve never associated being hot with Granny’s house. I’m sure I was hot, it just wasn’t significant enough to remember.

Her house was big and rambling on small town Broad Street. When I would visit, I would let myself in the front door (which had no lock) and call out as I walked toward the kitchen. If she wasn’t there, I went right out the squeaky back door and into Granny’s garden. As a little girl, I thought her whole house and especially the back yard was a magical place… and I never grew out of that feeling.

I can see her now — doubled over working in a sleeveless, cotton dress (she never owned a pair of pants), yard shoes, and a baseball cap to shield the sun. She’d look up and push away wisps of curly hair that spilled from her bun (she never cut her hair either). She would smile like I had made her whole day by visiting. I was never an interruption, despite her earnest work. She made me feel special, loved and wanted — and she always encouraged me in all my activities.

There were all sorts of vegetables in her garden, but her roses… they were her pride and joy.

In the days when weddings were in churches and receptions in the fellowship hall, Granny provided buckets of roses for many a bride.

Toward the end of her life, Florida State asked her to ride in the homecoming parade, as the oldest living graduate of FSU (FSCW in her day). Always humble, she declined, and they sent her a beautiful arrangement — roses, of course. During one of our last visits, she tenderly reminisced about how much TLC roses need and the privilege and rewards of tending them. Another curious thing — I don’t remember there being a lot of roses in her house; I think she gave most of them away.

She was a smart, simple, humble, beautiful woman. She loved Jesus and read her Bible — but didn’t preach or wear her religion on her sleeve; it was a natural part of all she was. She lived her faith and shared His love. She loved His creation and walked and talked with God in their garden.

She read books, kept up with the news, had hobbies and loved her family. But the purpose of everything she was, learned and did seemed to be to give it away. She was active in civic clubs and the church, but much of her philanthropy was unofficial and without a tax deduction — simply loving and serving whoever God entrusted to her by putting them in her life.

Granny never flew on a plane or saw anything outside of driving distance. She worked hard, but never “worked out” or “counted calories and carbs.” She drank a touch of wine when it was offered but didn’t take vitamins or drink green shakes. She ate small meals throughout the day and stayed actively engaged in life right up to the end.

She never dyed her hair or had a professional mani-pedi. In my memory, she didn’t wear a stitch of makeup, and her dresses were not the latest fashions. She was ahead of her time in not liking stockings. Her legs usually had scratches from the garden and her face was wrinkled with laugh lines. Yet — without any qualifiers — I think all who knew her would call Granny beautiful and her life abundant.

Remembering Granny, I think maybe we spend too much time today searching for ways to reduce our wrinkles, waistlines, gray hairs, and discomfort. And trying to increase our lifespans, our “friend” lists, leisure, and wardrobes. Maybe the good life is simpler and a whole lot more than what the world says we should go after. Granny certainly proves the most beautiful part of any woman is found in seeing her heart and soul.

The olden days are attractive to a lot of us — hence the popularity of magazines like Real Simple and the trend toward minimizing. But the reality is that times are different. I’m not suggesting we garden in skirts, avoid airplanes and throw out all our makeup! It’s worth noting that adapting to changing times is an important indicator for happiness and longevity. Granny’s life span included a lot of acclimating and re-acclimating. Nor should we start saving bacon grease to season our veggies or shun modern medical advancements. I bet Granny would use olive oil today, too.

But could it be that we give the common idols of today’s popular culture way too much time and attention? Are we running so hard and trying to do and be so much in our crazy busy world that we have no time for other people?

What can we learn from all the beautiful people (past and present, of all ages) who model abundant life? I think they share many traits (in bold above) with my Granny — traits we can emulate and intentionally develop when we slow down — resist following the culture of the day — and seek real relationships, beauty and abundant life.

The hymn to sing at Granny’s funeral was easy — In the Garden by Charles A Miles

I come to the garden alone,
While the dew is still on the roses,
And the voice I hear falling on my ear
The Son of God discloses.
- Refrain:
  And He walks with me, and He talks with me,
  And He tells me I am His own;
  And the joy we share as we tarry there,
  None other has ever known.
He speaks, and the sound of His voice
Is so sweet the birds hush their singing,
And the melody that He gave to me
Within my heart is ringing.
I’d stay in the garden with Him,
Though the night around me be falling,
But He bids me go; through the voice of woe
His voice to me is calling.

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Prayers that Move Mountains and Why they Matter to a Sovereign God

October 17, 2014heart of prayer, Like a little child, personal growth, Purposelouise

Do you pray with confidence and assurance that your prayers will be both heard and answered by God, Creator and Ruler of the universe? Do you believe your faith-filled prayers are a critical part of God’s plan? These are BIG ideas we often dismiss as impossible.

In Matthew 21:20 “Jesus replied, ‘Truly I tell you, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, Go throw yourself into the sea, and it will be done.'” How does this verse apply to the life of a modern day Christian? To you and to me?

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” (Matthew 7:7-8) These similar yet deepening repetitions suggest Jesus wants to impress us with an important truth: that we can and must expect answers to our prayers.

They also emphatically point to His understanding of our hearts, and how doubt and distrust toward God are our natural responses. He knows how easily we can check the box “time spent in prayer” without having vulnerable hearts and without any real expectation of a specific answer — even though we believe God is the Hearer of our prayers. Grabbing hold of the promise of answered prayer isn’t a half-hearted religious work — it’s spiritual and very intimate.

At the outset of His instructions to those learning to pray, God asserts that prayer is effective and profitable. “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” (Mark 11:24) If we are asking and not receiving– the problem isn’t God’s faithfulness to His promise, but something is amiss in our prayers. “You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.” (James 4:2-3)

To be clear, I’m not a believer in the name-it-and-claim-it prosperity gospel. Sometimes God’s answer is a refusal, because the request is not in alignment with God’s Word. He will redirect our petitions, but He doesn’t leave His seeking children in uncertainty as to His will. Secondly, any honest prayer in relationship with the Father through Jesus is good, and He will use it for His purposes. There are many kinds of prayer. He wants us to pour out our hearts to Him. Here, I’m exploring prayers of tremendous faith, because I have avoided them.

I feel challenged to authenticity in my prayer life. God’s asking me to explore what’s true about my actions and my heart for prayer? My faith? If I believed all Jesus says about my prayers — would it not change everything?

I’ve been guilty of weakening God’s Word around prayer by adding and applying my faulty human wisdom to it. God wants us to be confident in prayer. To pray like a child, trusting and believing. It is easier for my flesh to submit to “whatever happens,” without risking specific prayers and specific answers, than to take time to yield to the Holy Spirit — to be searched and purified so that I can pray His will with faith.

Admittedly, I’ve been contented with “politically correct prayers.” I knew God wanted me to pray, but I didn’t always understand why. I believe part of prayer’s purpose is to align my will with His. Sometimes I was confident of where He led me. Other times, not so much — so I rambled prayers that made sense from my best human understanding. It’s hard enough discerning HIs will in my own life, how could I consistently know His will around the lives of others?

Intercessory prayer has been confusing and even frustrating to me at times. But I knew, for some reason God understood (but I didn’t), I was to pray earnestly for others. My MO was to pray in broad, sweeping stokes of obedience. I covered a lot of bases, asking for safe things like salvation, wisdom, peace and blessings. For security I always added a qualifier, “These are my wishes, God, but your will be done.” It felt right, surrendered, and submissive to pray this way. I’m not saying these were “wrong” or “bad” prayers, but definite answers to specific prayers of great faith were the exceptions, not the rule in my daily experience.

If I’m honest, the Bible verses suggesting I’d receive whatever I asked for in prayer felt like arrogant impossibilities. I was praying prayers of submission and prayers of trust in God’s wisdom — but my life was sorely missing prayers of child-like faith. I had no picture of knowing God’s will confidently enough for my prayers to impact His hand. God is beginning to teach me otherwise.

God has a special will for the prayers of each of us. Just as we can’t do all good things, we can’t effectively and boldly pray for all things. We must ask Him for guidance in prayer. Sometimes I seek God’s will only in my inner feelings and convictions through the Holy Spirit. Other times I rely strictly on the Word. I’ve found I have the most confidence in prayer when I spend enough time to marry the two. When I am abiding in Him, listening to the Holy Spirit, and allowing the Word to dwell and abide in me, I learn what God wants me to pray for, and His will in the situation.

It takes a lot of intentionality to keep my heart and life under His influence day by day. I regularly lose my focus on Him, and my spirit (and prayer life) wanders. The desire of my heart in alignment with Him is weak and often not visible in my actions. The world wins my attention and affections way too often. But the joy of those faithful prayer times, when His will is clear to me, is addictive. I turn back to Him time and time again.

Once God reveals His will to us, what is the practical purpose of our prayers? God is Sovereign. We get confused as to what that means. We think that what God wills must inevitably take place. He’ll do what He deems best — so why pray? Through God’s prompting, reading the Bible and classic writings, I’m beginning to understand how my erroneous thoughts and resulting confusion have limited my faith.

God wills a tremendous amount of blessings to His people that never come to them. Despite his earnest will and perfect love, they cannot come, because we do not will it. We were created with free will: one of the Bible’s great mysteries. I don’t pretend to understand it, but it does seem through our salvation and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, our free will is also renewed and redeemed. We can align our will with His, when we die to self.

God has chosen to make the execution of His will, in many (not all) things, dependent on the will of man. Much of God’s will that is revealed in His promises will only be fulfilled as our faith accepts it. Prayer is the catalyst by which otherwise inert blessings come to pass. Faith is the power by which God decides how much of His will shall be done in us.

With the advantage of hindsight, I can see these truths have been operating in my life for a while. When I have sought God for Who He is, clung to Him and His Word as my sufficiency, and asked for very specific things — He has blessed me beyond my imagination. Seeing His hand in my life gives passion to my faith and makes me want more of Him. I have experienced this child-like faith mostly when I was so broken that I knew God was my only hope for life. But isn’t this our condition everyday?

It’s God’s very Nature to love and to bless, but He leaves it up to us to pray and petition where the blessing is to come. What an honor! I’m learning in baby steps through joyful faith, not grit, to add bold prayers of faith, once I know His will, to my conversations with God.

Of course I’ll never fully understand God or prayer while on earth — both are way larger and more mysterious than my mind can comprehend, but growth is always my goal. I welcome your thoughts, experiences and comments below. We can all learn from each other. It’s also a great time to mention I would be honored to pray for you — specifically. Just ask! 😉

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