Category Archives: Busyness

Confessions of 2016

December 27, 2016Busyness, Freedom, Mid life, personal growth, sandwich generationlouise

James 5:16 says “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”

Did you ever read Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day? Mix that with Pharell William’s song determined to be “Happy,” and the saving grace of the mix… “Say Amen” by Finding Favour — and you’ll have a picture of my 2016.

My Confession: 2016 has been a wonderful, no good, frustrating, joyful, fabulous, overwhelming, love-filled, exhausting, fractious, and exhilarating year. I have cycled from fully and joyfully alive — to exhausted resignation with mild depression — and back again. Sometimes with both all mixed together in a pot I called menopause (but the doctor said it wasn’t that).

Many times, I have called out to God both in thanksgiving and despair. Shamefully, at other times I have all but ignored Him, as I became swallowed up in temporal circumstances. The urgent and pressing.

Since we rang in 2016 from our tranquil porch at Alligator Point, I have participated in (personally or through close friends and family) many BIG, significant events. They have included several broken bones; numerous ER and hospital visits; countless joy-filled weddings (two of my own children); divorces; one office remodel, move then destructive fire; repeated vandalism and deception; a crazy election year; two new puppies; a hurricane targeting both houses; starting my new business; unemployment/ new employment; back to school; high risk births, serious parental illness; and family funerals — just to name a few.

In living and praying through the highs and lows, the scheduled and unscheduled events of 2016, I seemed to have put a lot of life on hold — on the back burner for a more convenient time, even though some I feel are at God’s leading.

despite aspirations to go to a writer’s conference and start a book, I have written only five blog posts
I sort of launched, then postponed starting my coaching business — until 2017 when the craziness would slow down
after doing so well the 2nd half of 2015, I let stress win the health battle in January 2016, and put off weight loss and cardio health until 2017
my “quiet time” became dismally distracted — reduced to at best “prayer without ceasing,” but without disciplined and real focused time alone with God
I set up my studio to paint more frequently, but rarely felt the creative spirit
I imagined but didn’t begin numerous projects… my to do list grew and alas is misplaced
my values and mission statement documents were literally lost in the chaos before any efforts were made (and before I committed them to memory)

I’m sure I could continue listing circumstances and distractions — excuses and understandable delays and failures in reaching goals. Possibly you can relate? We all have years that are just “one for the record books.”

But where is the nugget of truth I need to carry forward to 2017? The circumstances — even natural disasters, family weddings or deaths — are not the core issues.

In a few days we will sit in the same beach rocking chairs, looking ahead to 2017. Again, I have no idea what’s in store. 2016 was truly a wendinger of a year… but maybe this is the new normal of mid-life empty nesters with aging parents and many adult children??? Despite all that’s unknown and out of my control, how can each day of 2017 be better? What can I learn? How can I grow? How can I please God?

I think the answer lies in #4 bullet on my unedited list processing the back burner spokes in my wheel of life. “My ‘quiet time’ became dismally distracted — reduced to at best “prayer without ceasing,” but without disciplined and real focused time alone with God.”

Heart of my confession: Lord, I have let other things — worthy, good and “bad”– steal my attention from You. Forgive my idolatry — which has lead to destruction. (Phil 3:19) All those other bullet points above are simply evidences of the consequential destruction when I forget my first love.

It’s so exciting and amazing that God forgives and offers His grace and mercy fresh each day! Not because I have “changed” or “been good,” but because of Jesus! He is my atonement! Still — true confession involves the overflowing response of repentance! Turning 180 degrees away from sin — back to God.

God not only wants but demands total devotion from His people. Complete allegiance. It is foolish to ultimately trust in myself or anything else in this life. Anyone or anything I love (or give my attention to) ahead of God puts me in danger, and should be considered an idol.

Matthew 10:37-35 says “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”

That stings. Especially for 2016.

Those are not words the modern culture encourages us to embrace. Today’s world often calls us to worship family, achievement, recognition. Or to put it in words that sound more palatable to me and allow me to sin without feeling immediate guilt… I am encouraged and feel really good about myself when I’m seen as competent, self-reliant, poised, responsible — the one who can be counted on to “be there” for my friends and family. When I’m the near “perfect” wife, mother, daughter, friend. Giving and serving — at home, at church and in my community.

Actually all those can be good things — but never when they come at the expense of my devotion to God. That’s what I let happen in much of 2016. It’s not that I forgot God or that He is always with me. It’s not that I stopped praying altogether or even that I quit trusting Him. I just didn’t make a lot of one-on-one time for being with Him.

I was overwhelmed by immediate needs and events, and God got squeezed out of His rightful spot in my life. Nothing and no one deserves primacy in my life except God — Creator of every good thing. He needs to be my steering wheel — not just my fuel.

I’m looking at my Christmas village — where I love creating a Hallmark-worthy little town. The North Pole has all sorts of colorful and fun factories producing bikes, gumdrops and other great things. My heart, left unchecked, is a similar factory — producing all sorts of enticing idols. Temporal things (meant to be good if kept in their secondary place of affection) that become idols of my flesh if I put them before God in any way.

I have loved other things more than God. I have given my first fruits of attention to good and worthy things before giving God my undivided, focused devotion. At times to His exclusion.

2017 new year’s resolutions are days away. There is time to make plans to meet my goals. But my repentance can’t wait!

Starting THIS MOMENT God is my unrivaled #1 love again. My Sufficiency. My All in ALL… the One I will turn to for answers and guidance. The One I trust above all else…

And when I feel myself slipping (as I will do as long as I’m on earth), I pray I will catch myself earlier and more quickly. When the time I truly want to give to God is feeling rushed or second tier — I will see a problem. This is not an isolated occasion that calls for a reorganization of priorities… it’s idolatry. I’ll ask His forgiveness again, and return to Him as my first love, as often as necessary — until He brings me home.

My prayer is that today and everyday God’s love for me overwhelms the circumstances of my life. That I allow my moments to be defined by The Good Book and the reality of God’s Truth in my life with Him. My favorite great hymns are a good playlist to live by!

“Great is Thy Faithfulness”
“Amazing Grace”
“It is Well”
“How Great Thou Art”
“My Life is In You, Lord”
“Blessed Assurance”

Your comments are so encouraging — either in the comments section or through social media below. Thank you for “hearing” my confession, and for your prayers.

What do a Fire, a Wedding and Glitter all have in Common?

August 5, 2016Busyness, gratitude, heart of prayer, joylouise

I’m not sure where this one’s heading, folks! But I feel nudged to write, so here goes.

Yesterday, I started about 50 tasks, but made no progress. While “working” I also read, napped, talked on the phone, played with the pups, and checked Facebook 8 times. The irony? I wrote web copy stating social media addiction as a specialty. Hmmm, might need to revisit my own triggers for that!

Why so antsy? I’m recovering. Life has been coming at me in double time. Curveballs — an endless barrage of the stuff that makes up our days. Some of it wonderful. Some, not so great. All without pause. I think God has been reinforcing two Truths that are so well known, we can easily forget their magnitude:

to trust God no matter what the circumstances, and
to keep Him on the throne as my number one priority!

Pushing through life in the strength of my flesh, I needed a reminder. Busyness is no excuse for neglecting time with God, but we all cave sometimes under pressure. And He still loves us and works for our good. Maybe that’s why God allowed “life” to drive His plan home and give teeth to my faith before I launch my business. A business that only makes sense if He is central.

Early June, I was in Atlanta for an engagement party, when that party’s mother of the groom interrupted to say Rob had called me on HER cell. My heart sank. There had to be a problem… a big one.

The building we had moved our business into weeks before was next door to a building struck by lightning. The firemen let Rob through the barricade as he explained, “I own the building on the right… but I heard we’re ok.” When the deadpan reply is, “You’re gonna need to talk to the chief” you might have a BIGGER problem.

The fire had spread to our roof, and 550,000 gallons of water poured into our first floor space — 100% interior total. I kept telling myself this is “an act of God,” and He has a plan. All will be okay. Rob is a calm guy — even in the face of fire and devastation. I’m not always so steady, but one employee thought it was weird how cool and collected we were.

It wasn’t an act; we were consciously placing our faith in God. Trust was our only choice, as we added a major fire to our already full plates. But we weren’t without our moments. It was awful to go to the building. It was oppressively hot as they tried to dry out the framing, and the stench spoke to the devastation. Depression and overwhelm hovered nearby.

We looked for silver linings, but I was weary. I didn’t have much energy for prayer — beyond the typical ones that rise out of chaos and confusion. “Why? God, is there a message in this? We thought this business was your will? But it’s not going as we thought it would…”

I learned during a long and arduous 2008, that favorable outcomes are not an accurate indicator of whether you’re living in God’s will. His ways are not our ways. Things can look bad to our eyes, when all is going according to HIs plans. The building is still only protected by a tarp, but He is providing. We feel His peace.

Wedding time! I had to quickly shift gears for my son’s July celebration! It was a welcomed distraction; I’m thrilled with their marriage. But my energy was depleted, when I wanted to enjoy every moment. The joy of the Lord truly was my only strength — and it was probably a blessing I didn’t have any “fight” of my own left in me… as life kept happening.

The wedding weekend started with tux mishaps and wild storms. Two hours before dinner, I got another call… the restaurant venue had a problem. There had been no power for 2.5 hours in a small area of downtown (also affecting the wedding hotel). The city estimated another 2 hours, despite crews working. They were searching for another venue, but hadn’t found one.

By the grace of God, I wasn’t ruffled. We made the executive decision not to change venues. I would trust however they handled it — they didn’t need me to micromanage. Pizza could work if it had to. God had allowed the storm. All would be okay.

I only had time to text a few sisters and ask them to pray that we would have a rehearsal dinner — any kind. I had to go to the church! I HAD to trust God had this…He had us, no matter what the outcome. It helped that the laid back groom remained happy, as did “bridechilla.”

When we arrived the restaurant had miraculously cooled down, linens and flowers were on the tables, and they served the delicious original menu. Guests never knew there had been a crisis. Shout out to amazing staff at The Edison: it was impossible to pull this off! I’m so thankful God always answers our prayers — and has a soft spot for wedding feasts!

Saturday morning was relaxed. I got my makeup and hair done with “the girls” then returned to my house to be with “my boys.” Such a special time — but it didn’t go as planned. The hairdresser finished my look with a flourish of sticky spray across my head, face and chest. I was bedazzled with glitter!

The mirror revealed not only was I “glitter mom,” but let’s just say the up do was not my style. Flustered, but not falling apart, I went home thinking I probably needed to shower again. My boys didn’t disagree!

My sister and daughter-in-law-to-be came to the rescue (as did a groomsman with a mimosa). Bedazzled make-up was removed, and releasing my hair shook out most of the glitter that scotch tape hadn’t lifted. I washed my chest 4 times and voila — the show girl was gone, and the mother of the groom reappeared.

Everyone says most women would have flipped out. I AM most women! God’s grace and joy overwhelmed the problem, and allowed me to share the grace He has so generously shown me.

The slight confusion caused by the rain falling as everyone was entering the reception, only rattled me for a short while (admittedly, someone put a glass of champagne in my hand again). Nothing life threw at us could have dampened the joy of the night. It was perfect and oh so joyous, despite more than a few technical glitches along the way. God is good, all the time. So thankful I was too spent to assert my own agenda and compelled to trust Him through the weekend. Resting in Him is always the very BEST life.

I’ve almost completed two Christian Coaching courses, One serves to set up the legal, financial and technical structure of my business in a systematic way. I was on top of it… then came the fire, the wedding, the glitter and a myriad of untold circumstances. I felt frantically behind as I worked yesterday. I hadn’t called the lawyer, accountant, web designer, etc. My perfect office was trashed — most destroyed room in our building — all except my paintings. Everything crashed to the floor, while they hung miraculously on the soaked walls like a rainbow.

I think God was lovingly molding me through the fire, wedding, glitter and all the other setbacks and crises. Reflecting and writing has calmed my countenance. Maybe I needed to praise God for His love, blessings, provisions and grace before moving forward. Today, I’ll tackle my task list again in earnest… after seeking Him in trust and surrender, and with so much gratitude and joy. Life just works better when my trust rests solely in Him — no matter what happens.

How I Know that YOU are an ARTIST!

March 30, 2016Busyness, Freedom, joy, Like a little child, personal growth, Purposelouise

A blank slate can be a scary thing.

It holds infinite possibilities and promise — as well as risk and responsibility. Who wants to commit to a pristine canvas, when you might “mess up?” Who wants to expose her heart for others to interpret? Often insecurity intimidates a would be painter from putting brush to paper.

It’s true in life too. Sometimes we avoid the art of living the abundant life (John 10:10). We prefer to admire or critique the works of others from a distance. We don’t risk engaging with others outside our comfort zones. It’s too messy, so we isolate ourselves in our safe circles of influence.

In my experience, the artist eventually breaks out, and I never regret it. My God-given desire to create and impact the world can’t be quenched.

Art can take a myriad of forms. Conversation. Relationships. Visual arts. Performing arts. Cooking. Sewing. Writing. Software, interior or fashion design. Event planning. Mechanics and engineers. Crafting a business deal, a speech, lecture or a sermon. Gardening and flower arranging. Managing people… all these and more are forms of artistry.

According to the dictionary, to “create” means to bring something into existence or to cause something to happen as a result of one’s actions. Fairly all-encompassing — so I believe an artist is within ALL of us. Don’t trust me… you are an artist because God says so.

Genesis 1:1 says “In the beginning, God created…” He is an Artist. It goes on a few verses later “So God created human beings in his own image.” We are His unique creations, made to create. We all have some form of creative, expressive, influential DNA, derived straight from the Creator of the Universe. We need to find where God is calling us to “create.” Ephesians 2:10 says “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” To glorify Him and edify others.

While each new day is often compared to a blank canvas, I see it a little differently. A canvas, yes, but not a stark white one. Our God never slumbers, so each new day, there’s a picture in progress on the canvas, a story unfolding. We only need to look for Jesus’ hand and join in where He’s already at work. John 5:19 says “Very truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does.”

When I was little I felt tremendous joy in a fresh box of crayons. I still remember the smell and those neat little points! I’ve loved writing and painting all my life. They have always drawn me in and offered me great expression. Rest and peace. But there have been many years where I haven’t painted at all.

After 7th grade, I dropped art class for more rigorous academics. Places I believed could lead me to success and reward. I decided painting was frivolous child’s play. My juvenile assessment persisted into adulthood. Art was for personal enjoyment. Leisure after the important things were done, or not at all. My painting served no real purpose, unless I could be really amazing — a profitable artist or master of my trade.

God is changing my point of view. Today I not only value creative expression, but believe no one is living completely as God desires them to unless they value their creative niche, and risk sharing their God appointed art form with others.

God is using painting in my life in important ways.

Recently, we removed a rarely used pool table and turned our pool room into a TV room. With all those windows, there was too much glare by day and a fish bowl effect by night. And really — who needs multiple sitting rooms? With no more practical uses, I timidly suggested maybe I might paint more if I had a space I could keep “messy.” A studio? And all that natural light made the pool room perfect.

We transformed it, and like many a white canvas, it remained untouched. The shelves were loaded with brushes, art books, canvases and paint… but the artist was not present.

Consumed by what felt urgent, critical, and mine to accomplish, my life’s pace just wasn’t compatible with creativity. Despite helping, going and doing, I felt guilty and inept. I tried hard, but it was never enough — and I was instead being controlled and consumed by my trials… by life on this earth.

Then one day on a whim (and a prayer), I painted something. And right alongside my easel, the Potter began molding His clay, pliable and surrendered in His hands.

He is giving me new Life! A new purpose. After asking me to stop all my busyness and just be, He is beckoning me to His new plan. To work He has uniquely molded me to do (more later on that).

You are an ARTIST! I hope you have discovered a form of artistry that draws you completely into the present moment, as it temporarily drains away worldly concerns and distractions. A place to be vulnerable, authentic and raw. Where you can lose yourself.

God led me back to painting… to teach me about His nature, expose a little more of my flesh, and to transform me for His glory. Artistry is good for that. It helps us embrace and engage fully — letting go of what’s broken and left undone.

Sharing my art requires me to be vulnerable. Trusting God in all the details as I rest, slow down, fill my cup and make time for Him. This “frivolous” creating has allowed God the space to teach me a little more about His desires for me and where He truly wants me to join Him in His work.

Like Eric Lidell said in “Chariot’s of Fire, “I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure.” God gave me a love of painting… and when I paint, I feel His presence and His pleasure. It has less to do with what I produce on the canvas than the freedom and the abundant life He offers, as I become more fully “me.”

Matthew 11:29-30 sheds some light: “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light” (emphasis mine).

Are you drowning in pressure? Do you believe you’re made in the image of God and as such, an artist? Could acknowledging whatever art form God has place in your heart help you gain His Holy perspective?

I hope you have something that provides in-the-moment creative joy in your life. If not, ask God to reveal His gift to you. Then look for where He is already at work, and calling you to join in His creation. Pick up your “paintbrush,” choose your favorite color and go to work with Him on the canvas He has waiting for your contribution.

“To me, the purpose of the arts is to introduce people to life in all its breadth and complexity and thereby to find oneself, others, the world and God more fully.” Gary Collins

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