Category Archives: Purpose

Heaven is for Real – God’s Not Dead

IMG_0030My last post was “discombobulated.” It was tough to publish, but it felt like there was something important in it all. The contrast between the brick mason’s story and my reality was edited and rewritten. Deleted and reworked.  I think it’s because, I’m struggling between what I want to say, and what God is accomplishing in my heart. As I look at ways the brick mason  and other events are opening my heart, my prayer is more of Him and less of me.

In my short visit with the brick mason , I learned he was having a devastating day, in the midst of chronically difficult life circumstances. Obviously, he believed heaven was real and all around us, and God was good to his family — even in death, illness, poverty and pain. He openly shared his experience and his faith with us as comfortably as he discussed concrete.

IMG_0420I’m not minimizing or glamorizing his situation. Either would be the wrong focus. At times I’ve even wondered if he was “for real.” I decided to let go of my cynicism and my need to know all the facts, and to ask God what He has to say to me about it all. I know when really terrible things happen in my life, my heart trumps my head, and I sort of feel entitled to something better — like there’s been some mistake.

Knowing the stories and promises of God, why is my faith not more like the brick mason’s? Why am I not thankful and actively believing that God is with me (Matthew 28:20) and acting on my behalf for good in every detail of my life (Romans 8:28)? Joseph had one “bad” thing happen after another but said, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” (Genesis 50:20) The same is true today.

IMG_4675Taking the whole experience of the brick mason at face value,  I am deeply moved by how the brickmason’s reality of God’s goodness and provision in his every day life, totally overwhelmed the current situation.  He knew his daughter was dead and his family had an increasingly more difficult road ahead.  Still he said, “I don’t know why God is so good to me.” Who he knew God to be, and what He knew Jesus had done for him was more real and important to the brick mason than anything that was happening. That’s abundance I want to emulate.

Someone asked me what I thought of the movie, “Heaven is for Real.” I’m no Bible scholar, and  I understand the concerns around how God could allow 4 year old Colton to sit on Jesus’ lap during his surgery, when the Bible says Moses couldn’t look at God and live. I know Hollywood could have sensationalized a good story once they had the rights to it, and the Burpo family had much to gain in publishing it. I’ll let others debate all that.

IMG_4706To me, it seems totally credible that a loving God gave a scared, sick little boy a glimpse of heaven while he was still on earth — and that God wanted the story to be spread to others.  Hasn’t He ever done something similar for you — where you were overwhelmed with His majesty? Or His protection? If the movie helps people to see that heaven is real; that  our lives and prayers need to be more focused on heaven than anything on this earth (Philipians 3:19-20) — because God is in heaven and we will one day live there with Him — then it is a GREAT movie that points us toward God and a richer, more abundant life!

We saw another movie, “God’s NOT Dead.” In it Josh, a freshman philosophy student, takes a stand and risks ridicule, relationships, failure and his future (that pretty well covers the things of this world), because he will not assert, “God is dead” as his teacher desires. He feels God wants him to do something for Him, so he listens and obeys.  He agrees with God’s will. He takes some losses in the process, but the movie has a  happy ending. Even if it didn’t, I think Josh would be glad he chose to trust God and His goodness. I think he would say all is well when I do God’s will, and Life is Abundant beyond all the other stuff!

I’ve been sharing how our little group has been learning to pray more effectively. In preparing for our study,  God led me to the Lord’s Prayer. (Matthew 6:9-13) We sing it; we pray it.  It comforts us, but what are we really saying?

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The Pitons, St Lucia

First, Jesus told his disciples to say, “Our Father who is in Heaven. It seems heaven was important as a focus beyond the earth they could see and touch. Heaven is our eternal home where God dwells. All of us feel the daily pull of sin, the world and the devil on earth. We are tempted to make WAY more plans for this short life than we do for eternal life. When that is our focus, we miss His abundance.

Heaven is for real. God is there — and He is here with us. We get glimpses of heaven in the almost but not yet experience of this life on earth, because He walks and talks with us every day. Heaven is more real and more lasting than the chair that holds you up right now.  It seems we need to pray fully embracing the fact that heaven is our real home, if we want abundant life.

IMG_1151Secondly we earnestly pray, “your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven” right until the moment when God’s will interrupts our own…  What are we really saying in these familiar words? I’ll paraphrase Michael Youssef,  “King Jesus, I want your priorities to be the preoccupation of my entire heart and mind — my life. Take over everything!” Sounds almost like the Greatest Commandment (Matthew 22:37).

When we pray, so often we focus predominantly on our own plans, needs and passions. See my long list of thoughts at the beginning of this post. They have led to a lot of stress and confusion for me lately. I guess you could say I’ve been discombobulated!  God cares about our lives and wants us to talk to Him about all the details (1 Peter 5:7). The point is that word preoccupation — our focus and priority.

My mind has been dangerously consumed with my very real human needs, to the detriment of my preoccupation with God.  If our perceived needs become the increasing focus of our lives (in good times or bad), soon we won’t pray at all. Not as God intends. Instead of “your will be done,” our “prayers” become God give me what I need and want. I know what’s best. My will be done.

My final take aways from this process of looking at how I’m living my life and contrasting it with the brick mason’s story that depict a taste of abundant life and understanding God’s will are these:

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAPrayer is not only something you do, it’s who you are and the way to live Life. And when in doubt, like they taught us in Sunday School — the answer is Jesus. Focus on Him. He must be my reality. My preoccupation. My number one priority. That IS the Abundant Life He offers. Mattew 6:33 is often in my mind. “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given unto you as well.”  And John 15:4 “Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.”

My action point is to make the HUGE reality of all I know about God the Father, what Jesus did on the cross, and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit my primary focus — a hyper focus. Then be GRATEFUL and trust He is acting on my behalf.  All my scattered preoccupation and activity will calm, and I will surely know his abundance and a new way of Life. He is transforming me bit by bit.

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I want the abundant life God promised

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Eiffel Tower – Paris, France

This one’s for all the baby boomers… Or anyone who can imagine a day will come when you are 50. Or better yet, those from the greatest generation who can offer perspective from experience. Is your life what you thought it would be?

For the most part, we’ve raised our children — giving them every opportunity we could, so that they could succeed and follow their dreams. It was so worth it, watching them grow and enjoy life. Now it’s our turn! We’re making plans to travel, wondering about retiring, doing some things we never had time for… Life is good, really good. But there’s a nagging thought… is this all there is? Am I missing something?

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Notre Dame, Paris, France

We’ve always prayed for our family.  But some things aren’t quite as we thought they would be. Everyone is so busy and absorbed in their own lives.  There are wonderful, exciting new relationships, new jobs, weddings and new babies. We want to be supportive, and we’re truly happy for our children — but we miss the closeness of every day life together. We worry sometimes, but can no longer fix things with magic kisses and bear hugs.

IMG_3189Then there’s work.  Baby boomers are at the prime of careers they worked hard to achieve. Some are happy and fulfilled. Others are not. We’re questioning who and what should receive our time and attention. Yet, it’s hard to feel we have the freedom of choice.  How much is enough in an uncertain world? Our adult children and aging parents created our new identity as the sandwich generation. We are pressed from all sides and often spiritually parched. We carry on in what is familiar and safe, but we aren’t always sure toward what? Similarly, stay-at-home moms become stay-at-home people, wondering at their value, when homemaker is almost a politically incorrect term.

IMG_3320There’s another unique category bravely beginning new careers. Whether we are re-entering the workplace after a long absence or we recently lost a job, the learning curve is steep.  With waning energy we are waking early each morning to a fast-paced world.  Ever-changing technology is hard to keep up with.  We are LinkedIn on smart phones, leaving status updates on facebook, tweeting, tumbling and emailing. We’re not sure if what we do understand of technology and social media is good or bad — we recommit to handwritten notes and face to face friends, but struggle to find the time.

In this season of life, I also see many people finding joy in donating their time and resources to those in need. But even giving can be overwhelming. I feel a need to make a difference in an area where I feel passion. The news and the needs break my heart, and can be more than I can take in. There is so much pain and urgency, that sometimes, I just want to stick my head in the sand. I need focus and direction in this new stage, but often lack the energy to find it.

IMG_0756 It feels like life, while good, is more stressful than ever before. I think it’s because the primary focus of my energy for each day or week is not predictable, but constantly shifting. It also feels like I’m just not living quite the way I should — at a deeper spiritual level.

God is challenging me constantly with Romans 12:2. “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is — his good, pleasing and perfect will.” That’s what I’m looking for!  I want the second half of  my life to really matter. To live my life God’s way in this season, I think I have to become more dependent, surrendered and open to His leading than ever before.

IMG_3004John 10:10 says “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” Some translations call it the abundant life.  I want that too! And God wants both these verses to be true for my life. I met someone living in unexpected abundance recently.

Not long ago, a brickmason arrived at our house on a Harley Davidson. He was wearing shorts, a  T-shirt and a black leather vest held together by 3 silver chains. In addition to a giant cross, he displayed patches with slogans such as “bikers for Jesus” and “God loves you and I’m trying to.”

About 10 minutes into our describing what work we needed, he apologized for being spacey. He explained that he had heard just hours before that his daughter was dead. In brief, he had lived with the girl’s mother for 11 year’s and married her two years ago. His step-daughter, I’ll call her Joan,  was 21 and had two daughter’s of her own, who had recently been removed from her custody. They weren’t sure if Joan had died of an accidental overdose or if it was suicide. She had struggled with depression,  addictions and bad choices for years.

IMG_2324We gave our shocked condolences, and suggested he go home;  we could talk about the wall later. He declined, saying he needed work now more than ever. He drifted to another place.  With teary, distant eyes he shook his head and stated, “God is so good to me.”

He talked for 45 minutes. The night before she died, Joan had been waiting at his house to be picked up by a friend who never showed. She had a beautiful voice, and despite her deep depression, she had sung hymns as she waited. The brickmason had assured her she was blessed even now.  All she needed to do when the darkness enfolded her was to look to Jesus.  Somewhere in the retelling, he looked up and said again, “I don’t know why God is so good to me.” He told of dropping his totally sober daughter off where she was living, and going home in peace. Soon after her death the next morning, God gave him a vision of Joan as a little pig-tailed girl, in heaven. He said, “God is so good.” Of course, I know it’s true. But I doubt that’s where my heart would have been at that moment.

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shrimpers in Appalachicola, FL

“Reality” check: 6 hours ago Joan had died. His wife was 2 hours away in the hospital with the two-year old child, who had a serious disease requiring a tube in her little body. The brickmason lived paycheck to paycheck. Just before  the grandmother and toddler learned of her death, they were looking at pictures of Joan on facebook. Suddenly, the little girl looked up, pointed across the room and said, “I just saw Mommy!”

The brickmason believes that on her way to heaven, Joan was allowed one more glimpse of her daughter. He was counting God’s gifts and blessings in the midst of death and pain. He went on to say that the 5 year old would “pitch a fit” if they tried to leave church after one service — insisting on staying for both each Sunday. She knew the Lord already, and for that he was grateful.

IMG_4167He snapped out of it, and apologized again for drifting off. The brick mason insisted we return to discussing our driveway and wall. The shift was difficult for us, but seemed oddly natural to him. Could it be the brickmason’s perspective, seeped in gratitude and trust, is more real than the tragedy of his circumstances?  

In my next post I’ll explore what God wants me to learn from the brickmason’s story. It seemed he believed in God’s goodness and felt gratitude even on the worst of days.  I think he can help me understand more about the “secret” to living well in the coming years and experiencing the abundant life Jesus spoke of in John 10:10.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tears, Prayers and a Risen Lord!

At the top of the administrative page for this blog,  there’s a little comment icon to notify me when a reader has sent a message. I always acknowledge comments (public ones on the posts and in my personal email). I very much appreciate a reader’s time in encouraging me or asking questions, and consider it an honor and a privilege to have a more intimate “real life” encounter with a reader. It’s these one-to-one, written, or small group relationships that really energize me. It’s where I feel not only God’s presence, but that He takes over, and I step aside. Such a wonderful experience– it’s hard to explain.

Starfish! Alligator Point, FL
Starfish! Alligator Point, FL

Recently, I’ve commented on posts and emailed a few of the big names in the blogging world and an organization many belong to. No response. I think I let that get under my skin and hurt my feelings. But God is using them in a different way. Their gifts are His to bless, and these dear Christians are certainly glorifying Him and touching many people for His Kingdom.

My desire in blogging has never been to be results oriented; I felt God nudging me to write. I fight a tendency to want immediate personal affirmation (hearing that someone was impacted by my words), even if my greater motivation is for the good of others. I call this other more fleshly desire a glory hog. I don’t want to forget how unattractive it can be when I get my selfish needs mixed up with serving and obeying His leading.

I believe my God-given gifts are best used in a more intimate setting. My blog is a starting point. I am most fully alive face-to-face or in a small circle where I can share with others.  I’ve been thinking the last few days about this, repenting again the glory hog tendency — and letting go of visions of being a mega-blogger! 😉 I want to be available to respond personally to those who relate to my story. In this light, I covet your comments. IMG_3144

Back to those tears — This morning I had 36 Spam messages associated with Pink Reflections, an annoyance common to many blogs. Robot generated “messages” from Vintage Mulberry bags, Tory Burch bags, Louis Vuitton, etc. all trying to sell me their goods — probably cheap, imitation knock offs of the real designers.

My eyes quickly welled up. I believe tears (especially when they come on the heels of time with God) are well worth investigating and listening to. What is behind mine this morning? I’ve deleted similar messages almost every day since my November launch of Pink Reflections. Why do I have burning tears today?

I haven’t written a post in a month. I haven’t felt inspired, or more accurately, nothing I have written has felt worthy of pressing the ominous “Publish” button. Could it be that I feel like a cheap, imitation knock off trying to schlep my words when what people really want and need is more sophisticated “designer” thoughts? There are plenty of women writing who are more insightful and more impactful than I. What can I offer that is real?

Yes, I think that’s part of it. I know myself and how much I struggle to surrender and live as God leads me in my real life. Lately, my prayer life has been somewhat lackluster, labored, distracted — as opposed to joyful and the best and most anticipated part of my day. The circumstances of life have been overpowering the Truths of God. I’m mired down — conforming to the world instead of giving God ample time and opportunity to renew my mind and transform me to more Christ-likeness. IMG_5918

Added to that, I feel compelled to pray for our business — something I have always found difficult to do — and in this I am “failing.” If anything is worth doing at all, it is worth praying about, right? God cares about our work. Intellectually, I don’t believe in a life segregated into the secular and the sacred. I want  ALL I do and all I am to be about Jesus. But what does this look like? I get distracted and my prayers about our business quickly trail off into random thoughts…

What is God’s will in all our work decisions? We sought Him and His will in this; sometimes His outcomes don’t look good on the bottom line, right? Maybe there are other “lessons” we need to learn to deepen our faith? Certainly we have grown in faith in the last two years.  I try to “spiritualize” our technology business. To justify its existence by acknowledging we enjoy giving away some of what’s earned.

While it’s true that God uses all circumstances for His purposes and good, the idea that our business is only about these “lessons” seems a little like a cop out on my part — a small-minded prayer with a healthy portion of unbelief in a good God and a lack of confidence in the fact that He would desire our financial success. I am not a proponent of the name-it-and-claim-it prosperity gospel, but am I also afraid to even mention financial success? Could it be there is merit simply in what we offer — that God sees the good in our services and has ideas he wants to share with us about our business?

DSC00313His specific purposes and goals for our business are not obvious to me. Why is prayer so difficult in this area of my life? With my overall prayer life distracted by life’s circumstances and a sense of failure around praying for work — how can  I write something that might touch another? I feel a little like the sketchy vendor of the fake $10 designer bags sold in the streets of NYC.

Lately, I’m scatter-brained in daily tasks as well as my prayer life. Fragmented in my roles as wife, business owner, daughter, mother, friend, writer, painter, gardener, operations manager of the home and kitchen — I have lost sight of my true identity as adopted heir, daughter of the King — my Abba who desires me to know Him intimately.

DSC00329What I offer today is simply what He is saying to me in the midst of my messy life. And that He longs to be preeminent and intimate in all our lives. An honest admission of my struggles but also my faith that He is in control  of my life and my faith. Lately — I’ve been most aware of my struggles. My prayer life needs a transfusion. A refocus on Him. In the coming months, as He grows my  prayer life, I’ll share with you all I trust the great Healer will do along the way.

In a leap of faith that He desires my authenticity and transparency, today I’ll push “Publish,” and sheepishly let you in on the honest condition of my soul, as we approach Good Friday and Easter.  I’ll commit to trusting Him and continuing to pray in all things, even when it feels somewhat empty. I’ll do something else that’s hard for me — I’ll ask for your prayers for me as you read. I don’t understand exactly how prayer works, but I know that the prayers of others give me peace and please God.

IMG_5681My post is not a “downer” but a reminder that God has a plan and I can trust Him in it — all the time! He WILL respond to my prayers — even when they are weak. His strength is made perfect in my weakness.

This is the day the Lord has made! Let us rejoice and be glad in it! He is risen and all things are made new in Him! I will trust Him to finish the good work He has begun in me and in you! As always, you have my feeble prayers to a strong and loving God.

10150520_10152403992293674_6524963299613995081_nHappy Easter — He is Risen!