Category Archives: Like a little child

Chasing Fruit

May 2, 2015Freedom, gratitude, heart of prayer, joy, Like a little child, personal growth, Purposelouise

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the fruit of the Spirit. I want to grasp and apply what it looks like to walk in the Spirit. A promising and adventurous ride is underway. After a long detour on the road to nowhere, God is teaching me much and giving me great hope. For starters I’ll admit where I’ve been.

Despite my best “good girl” intentions, most of my life I’ve misunderstood love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control as Christian virtues I should strive for.

The Bible is a Love Story — Genesis to Revelations. There’s always danger in lifting even a seemingly straightforward verse out of context. Let me illustrate.

If I tape Galatians 5:22-23 on my mirror as God’s standard and set out each day to be more loving, joyful, peaceful etc., the fruit of the Spirit may still allude me entirely. In the midst of fatigue, distractions, bad circumstances, and even mountaintops, I can so easily forget my goal. Then you’ll find me defeated and frustrated with myself — wondering why I’m so slow in becoming more like Jesus.

Other times I may experience limited success. Friends and family may describe me as kind, gentle, or even loving. Those times make me sincerely happy that I’ve been a positive light. It feels good, but I see the reality of my insides and claim only partial victory. Besides, I still want the fruit I’m missing — especially the elusive JOY that gave Paul a heart to sing in prison.

At the end of those “good” days I remember to thank God for the successes. I ask for more of His fruit that I can’t seem to reach. Maybe even seek His direct assistance in my quest to live out His Christian virtues — especially the lofty fruit on the uppermost branches. I’m trying hard, but those are just too high for me to reach alone. I need a little help, please God. Sounds like an okay system of prayer and fruit production, right?

100 percent NO!

If I try in my own power to be more loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good,faithful, gentle and self-controlled — I may experience some fragmented success. But most of all I will have fueled my self sufficiency which produces pride. My goal is performance and recognition (for myself and God at best). I am self motivated, even if I sincerely want to be salt and light for God. And I seriously doubt my prayers that He assist in the work of my flesh line up with His desires. It’s subtle, but all I’m doing is opposed to the dead-to-self, dependent, God-focused life of walking in the Spirit.

I’ve given my best efforts to the task for fifty years, and Louise is simply not a spiritual fruit smoothie! No matter how diligently I seek to follow Jesus and to be like Him, I fail. My heart ultimately deceives me.

I’ve settled for little tastes of the various “fruits” at different times. Thankful for the larger servings, and resigned that the Big Kahuna of spiritual fruit just doesn’t come that easily. Maybe I should focus more on developing patience? Or just determine myself to be more self disciplined?

If you can relate, don’t despair… there is a simple and wonderful answer, that really is doable! Shift gears with me to a metaphor of explanation I’m borrowing from John Ortberg. It’s powerful.

How do we follow Jesus or walk in the Spirit?

Think of a pace car (Jesus) at the Daytona 500. All the cars (you and me) rev their motors, dreaming of the moment when the checkered flag (Holy Spirit) gives the signal to race. We have fine tuned our engines. Filled them only with the very best fuels. Painted, polished and prepared for the race to come. Until then, we obediently follow the leader. We mirror His pace and direction. Where He goes, we go — well as best as possible on a crowded track. We wouldn’t dare break lose without His direct command (opened door). We are Jesus followers!

Like when I tried to chase the virtues, we’re looking to Jesus. Following His lead. Waiting for His opened door, desiring to do great things… sounds like a good posture. “There is a path before each person that seems right, but it ends in death” (Proverbs 16:25). Good ideas and best intentions aren’t enough. Every race car eventually crashes and burns. Leave that track for another. Consider a locomotive with a long line of humble freight cars…

Jesus is the engine. We (the body of Christ) are hooked to Him, each in the place God chooses with the functional composition He desires. He provides our power, our direction, our purpose, our life. Without Him we are nothing. We belong to Him to be used as He sees fit. We do nothing at all except in His strength. He doesn’t need us, but He lovingly wants to use us to carry out His purposes… what a privilege! What a joy!

It’s not up to us to worry about all the details or the outcomes. We just need to cling to Him and let Him do the work through us. In John 15:5 Jesus says it this way, “”Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.” It’s a different metaphor, but a similar picture.

God is revealing so much to me about how I’ve conformed to the world’s view of life, even as I struggle to understand what it looks like to walk in the Spirit. Here’s a taste of simple truths I’m learning.

I no longer deliberately set seeking His fruit (yep – it’s singular) as the goal. I realize I can’t be all those things, but I can surrender to let His Spirit have His way with me. In those times, I will exhibit fruit. With the help of more learned minds than mine, I’m looking to all of Scripture to give context to Galatians 5:22-23.

When I’m focused on trying hard to be fruity (a good Christian), it’s a sign that my love for Him is incomplete. When being in a continual, trusting relationship with God is my focus and priority, He transforms me. His fruit flows with regularity and spontaneity from His nature within me. It’s happened a few times, and oh is it sweet.

I can’t explain it, but I know it’s all Him. All credit, honor and praise for anything good in me goes to God. His work through the Holy Spirit producing the fruit of the Spirit in me and through me. That’s a ride I don’t want to miss!

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Making Peace with Midlife — at the Movies

March 31, 2015Freedom, gratitude, joy, Like a little child, Mid lifelouise

When something’s on your mind, ever notice how you begin to observe it in spades? When being single was un-welcomed, it seemed everyone was holding hands. Looking for a new car, the unique model I “discovered” suddenly was everywhere. When I make something a priority, it flavors my days and sharpens my awareness.

Wouldn’t it be cool if we always had God at the forefront… and lived with our senses wide open to the perspective of the One who made us? We would see wonderful sights, hear wonderful sounds, meet wonderful people … and be happy to return home to tell Him all about our experiences.

The theme I’ve been writing about — the change, joy and abundance of life’s second half, and God’s purposes for us in it — is no exception. He’s been constantly challenging my earthbound foreboding to be mastered by His Kingdom outlook on midlife. There’s nothing new under the sun, but we each get to personally experience life afresh. All roads lead back to Jesus.

Recently Rob and I saw “The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.” In the movie, an eclectic group relocates to vibrant India to stretch their Euros in retirement. The resident hotel they choose is more rundown and unorthodox than ever imagined, but the quirky communal living serves to positively transform each guest. They embrace relationships, love and life, as they let go of the past. Familiar ideas. My review: Entertaining and cute with a quite few belly laughs.

One hotel guest is being courted by two men. As they approach a “T” in the road where the paths to her suitors’ homes diverge, her driver always asks, “Left or right, Madame?” She often struggles with her answer.

Finally, she asks the driver, wise beyond his years, how he makes very difficult decisions. He answers, “I don’t think they exist, Madame. When you toss a coin, you always know which side you want it to land on.”

We scheduled a 5th anniversary trip for this summer. Travel together has proven to offer more than enjoyment. God’s voice overwhelms the urgency of the world when we steal away. Nevertheless, circumstances caused us to consider canceling; it’s probably the judicious thing to do. After prayers and mulling over it for weeks, I suggested we flip a coin.

We secretly wrote down how we were hoping the coin would “land.” Seems we did have an unrealized preferences; we both voted yes! No coin needed. Carpe diem, (remember Dead Poet’s Society?) is sometimes the best choice regardless of conventional reason. Midlife seems to afford us more space to explore what’s beneficial in His eyes and to make choices that expand us — as God created us to be.

We also saw two trailers suggesting this suddenly-everywhere theme. The first was “The Age of Adaline,” a new movie in which a car accident magically gives immortality to a young woman born at the turn of the century. She never wants to fall in love, because it’s no fun if you don’t grow old together… hmmm.

It prompted me to ask Rob (who sweetly indulges my endless, silly games), “If you could go back to any age and remain there forever, what would it be? Before you answer, there’s a catch — you will always have both the body and mind (wisdom and experience) you had at that time, with no aging or growth.” (I diplomatically told him he didn’t have to consider when we met).

We independently decided we would refuse the tempting deal. We value the wisdom and growth of the passing years more highly than youthful vitality. Job 12:12 says “Wisdom is with aged men, With long life is understanding.” Wisdom increases geometrically with time — especially for a Christian. James 3:17 “But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy.” Talk about something to look forward to!

The question is, am I living in acknowledgment of the increasing good and perspective each year brings? Or am I lamenting all that is lost? I loved being young: especially being mom to growing children. And I want to respect my body. However in light of the adult journeys of our awesome, independent children (and our newly defined relationships) and my own good health, I’ve given the circumstances of this stage more grief than they’re due.

More significantly, I want to live fully celebrating my life’s present potential and all that God just keeps making better! Gratitude is my new best friend, as we’re becoming more deeply acquainted.

The other trailer was for “While We’re Young,” a movie about a listless middle-aged couple hanging out with hipsters in their early 20s. Some adventures were admittedly out there, but like the colors, connections and celebrations portrayed in our movie, the overall concept appealed and felt transforming in a good way. We were enlivened as we left the theatre.

Rob and I recently spent an evening with my daughter and her boyfriend. It proved invigorating and energizing in a hard-to-express, but different way than our normal night out.

No matter what sprightly people we encounter — it’s useful and inspiring to hang with younger folks — and fully breathe in the experience. In Matthew 18:3 Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” Sometimes we need to be reminded how to be like little children.

Ecclesiastes 3:4 says there’s “a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.” My prayer is that God opens my heart to His presence in all my being. I don’t want to deny the sadness of this season or to miss the fresh joys, but to honestly embrace His promise and purpose in the newness of each day.

“Now you’ve got my feet on the life path,
all radiant from the shining of your face.
Ever since you took my hand,
I’m on the right way.” (Psalm 16:11 MSG)

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Religion vs. Relationship — It makes All the Difference

February 13, 2015Freedom, gratitude, heart of prayer, joy, Like a little child, personal growth, Purpose, sharing the Gospellouise

Critics of Christianity often say religion is no more than a way for people to cope with life. I agree — all too often it can be, if we are religious without actually knowing God.

Because I’ve tasted a bit of the abundant life He wants for me, my passion is to invite others to join the continuing adventure of relationship with the Living God.

I share my story here and with friends in order to introduce Jesus to those who have only heard ABOUT Him. To help people understand that they not only can, but must have a relationship with God in order to enter His heaven (Matt 7:22-23). To challenge the religious to be sure they are saved, and to challenge the saved to surrender to transformation in order to experience His power, abundance and joy while on earth. I am or have been all these people at times. It’s exciting to see what God does in us as we realize it is our privilege to seek Him for Who He is, not just what He gives.

During my 40-day commitment to focused, listening retreats with Jesus, I’ve written very little, but God has said so much! A few of today’s pearls embody all that drove me to seminary, where God taught me to seek His face above knowledge, understanding or even wisdom.

Religion can be a legalism trap instead of a Relationship. Many people have daily quiet times, tithe, attend church, etc. In short we seek spiritual fulfillment by a “good” behavior to-do list, believing our lives will fall in place, because we’re doing what God wants. We think certain actions and disciplines are not only central but sufficient for being “spiritual.”

In short, we squeeze into a safe box an understandable God we feel we can control and predict. Then we do stuff “for Him.” Focusing on the externals, while difficult, is much easier than offering your heart to His blade. Because our scale is a measurable comparison to the behavior of others, we generally become complacent and feel we no longer need to struggle with the internal conflict of flesh and spirit. In fact, we hide our inevitable struggle, because we feel we should have matured spiritually beyond all that (I’ve worn that mask, even to church).

For a while we are smug, possibly self righteous — until despair creeps in. We know ourselves and that we fail to measure up. Or possibly we finally “have it all.” Life is under control and all we worked for has transpired — and that’s terrifying, because it’s not enough. Or as happened to me, life caves in and exposes that this religious system we’ve developed isn’t enough to sustain us in the toughest times.

The point is, God will allow the frustrations and trials of this world to unsettle us and compel us to seek Him. To look beyond the illusion of control to where God woos us into true relationship. And He will use it all for our good, as we love and trust Him.

Christianity is not a lifestyle. Our legalism is inevitably exposed as idolatry and entitlement at its heart. The religious formula that God will give us earthly well-being if we will merely do the right things is a lie. True spirituality is a relationship, not a prescription or action plan.

Relationship with Him will take as many different forms as He has children… so in no means do I intend to describe specifics. But a general description might help, if intimate relationship of a Christian with God seems foreign or impossible.

We offer our hearts with child-like wonder in the presence of the One who made us and sustains us. We willingly expose all of who we are to God, who already knows us, and engage with all He has revealed of Himself in the Word and the world. We love, worship, struggle and trust Him in increasing surrender. He interacts with us with mystery and awe. We are open to His surprises and delight in Him as a child.

We are not immune to life under the sun. We experience confusion, rest, frustration, peace, impatience and joy. We learn to embrace that God is mysterious (beyond our comprehension), but always good and loving. Life in relationship with Him is not predictable, tamable, or without pain (in fact there’s often more), but it is purposeful and good beyond our wildest imaginings — which is why we can experience joy and peace no matter what the circumstances.

God wants our hearts. Our flesh (self serving) is in conflict with His spirit which lives in every believer. We must be open, and welcoming to His transformation of us, even when it hurts. We can be sure “that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ” (Phil 6:8). We know God better each day, but not exhaustively — not until heaven. We look forward to our time with Him as the best of our days! As we are with Him and surrendered, He changes us. He works in us to make us more like Jesus. To release His power, joy and love to flow through us to others.

Everything good, beautiful and pleasurable here on earth is a hint of heaven. It’s meant to turn us toward Him in gratitude and expectation! Our passion is to know Him better each day, as we look to the day He will complete our joy and the work He is doing in us — and we will worship Him and experience His endless mystery, wonder and love (heaven).

After some time getting to know Him, I can’t help but share Him with others.

It’s a beautiful picture, of the already (Christ in me, heaven) and the not yet (flesh, still earth bound). Just to be clear, I mess up (sin) and fall away (my agenda, all the “self” words like self-sufficient) from HIm daily. He sees me as His work in progress and forgives me as I turn back toward Him. I experience the consequences of my sin, but not condemnation. Nothing I could ever do could make God love me more or less… because His love is perfect and complete.

Jesus is my all in all. I want everyone to know Him intimately and to experience His love and caring.

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