It’s the morning of Christmas Eve, and I’m the only one up. Tears stream as I watch Godvine videos. When I have tears like this, there’s usually a deep truth to acknowledge.
On Godvine, I watched a skinny “Santa” giving coats, gloves, hugs, and bowls of soup to the homeless. A choir sings Christmas hymns in a mall, ending with O Holy Night and scores of shoppers kneeling before Mary, Joseph and Jesus as they walk into the gathered crowd. Even a pit bull puppy was in my teary-video mix. It seems this rambunctious dog has a compassionate gift. He spends days in a veterinary hospital and naturally snuggles with other animals who are suffering.
I can’t help but make comparisons. Jesus — do I have anything to offer? How can I share You with a hurting world? in my home? with my friends? in my city? Where do you want me, and how can I best reveal You? I feel inept, like I am letting You down, Jesus. Like I am missing my mark or wasting my life. I softly sob. I want to be different, like those on the videos. They share You through their lives, and people feel loved, encouraged, joyful. What is my gift, Jesus? How is it that I can share Your love? Share You, Jesus?
The following quotes from writers much more eloquent than I pour into my soul this morning.
“You are most prepared for Christmas when you are done trying to make your performance into the gift — and instead revel in His *presence* as the Gift.” Ann Voskamp