Category Archives: Purpose

How to Rid yourself of Smoldering Discontent

April 16, 2016For parents, Freedom, gratitude, joy, Mid life, personal growth, Purposelouise

We’re not so different from the wandering Hebrew people who wanted to return to slavery in Egypt — just after God miraculously rescued them. Familiarity feels safe and comfortable. Even more so when we enjoyed our yesterdays. We long to go back instead of trusting God today and into our future. We often let a smoldering discontent permeate our being.

Webster’s offers the following definitions

SMOLDERING: feeling a strong emotion but keeping it hidden
DISCONTENT: not pleased or satisfied

I’m a midlife, empty nest mom… some might add in a midlIfe crisis? These middle years showcase a well-discussed season of change and transition. I’m writing from my current perspective, but my post could apply equally well to many others: from someone just graduating college, to someone in their so-called “golden years,” or anyone facing change and transition.

Rob and I moved to a new town … when I was turning 48… after my nest emptied a 2nd time… to start a new business… as we gutted our house. I worked full time with him and tried to juggle relationships and the changing dynamics in our family sandwich (us in the middle of aging parents and launching “children”).

Let’s just say I was too crazy busy and distracted to know which way was up. God had blessed me with a marriage beyond my dreams, and that was enough for a while.

After a few years, my recovery from unexpected surgery stopped me in my tracks. That’s when I started realizing our life wasn’t quite what I wanted. Little felt comfortable or familiar to me, so I assumed our life needed my attention to “fix” things. Get us back to what we had always dreamed life would be. That’s when discontent slithered in… and began smoldering.

I started worrying and scheming. Why hadn’t we found the “right” church. We needed to develop friendships. Were we good parents … good children? Were we engaged enough in the community? Should we travel more? Serve better? Play tennis again? Why was it so hard to have quality time with God like I used to? Or exercise? Or read my book club books? Everything had previously fit into my life neatly like a puzzle. 5000 tiny pieces… it was chaotic and zany at times, but it all worked together. I was living the American dream – raising a family. Now, I didn’t really have a relevant dream. Maybe if I just better organized the remaining pieces…

Though I tried to ignore it, discontentment flavored even the best parts of my life. I might be around another 30-50 years. Is life really about trying to reclaim a few shining moments of my past dreams? Or do I want to open my heart, mind and resources to the abundant life God promises me TODAY. And every day that I will surrender to Him in gratitude and trust.

The AHA moment came. So gently it had to be a divine message. “Louise, I am doing something new.”

At first I said, “Great! I’ll get everything ready for you, God! I know the framework for a good life!”

I redoubled efforts to reclaim or recreate everything good from before and find ways to make it fit into our life today. Ever heard of the round hole and the square peg?

Again gently, but with clarity God said, “Stop. Stop your doing.”

Me: “Even the good and worthy stuff? That which you directed?”

God: “Stop doing life as you know it, in order to make room for Me and My plan.”

(This “conversation” isn’t real. It’s my attempt to communicate several years of devotions, Bible study, prayer and my responses as God led me. Transitions are often slow and comprised of many small, courageous moments of obedience.)

Me: “Ok. I’ll stop — well except for a couple things. Obligations that would be embarrassing to back out of early.”

Life felt selfish. Slow. Not very exciting, but I appreciated the rest. Then new circumstances kicked in, and I dropped out of even the last couple “old ways of doing things” — that’s when God spoke discipline and wisdom to me very personally.

God: “Let go of your determination to serve and to live your way, and follow me.”

Why did I think I knew what my life was “supposed” to look like? I memorized Proverbs 3:5-6 as a child, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

While rapidly moving forward, as life tends to do, I was constantly looking backwards for answers. Wanting to be where I once was or grasp what I thought I had missed out on. In the process, I was missing much of God’s best in the present. I was also putting myself at risk; I think Satan loves our stubborn discontentment. My way left little room for God to show me the new and abundant life He has for me NOW. The NEW plan for THIS TIME that He’s been working toward all along!

Imagine driving a car while steadily gazing in your rearview and side mirrors! It’s dangerous (I know from taking these pictures). Mirrors are only to glance back, to see if there is information that might help you as you move forward, giving utmost attention to the road ahead.

I realized I needed to confess my grip on the gifts from my yesterdays of active motherhood and a full house. Turn to Him and be grateful. Learn lessons. Cherish memories. Trust God, and let Him do a new thing in the spaces left by what is seasonally in my past. Live fully engaged in the present — where God is with me.

I believe an omnipotent God has been allowing and orchestrating all the events of my life to this day. He has an ongoing plan for me, and I only need to seek Him in order to discover what He has already prepared. He will give me all the resources I need to live abundantly for as long as He gives me breath. And then He will welcome me to heaven! He’ll do this for you too, if you’ll let Him.

Phillipians 4:19 promises us, “And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.”

God wants to heal the smoldering discontent — sin — in our lives, and transition us toward His gift of peace that passes understanding. To redefine and refocus our efforts to serve Him. To give us a new dream, uniquely suited to where He holds us today.

No matter how hopeless, lonely, scared, sick, tired, overwhelmed, depressed, obsolete, unworthy, broken, anxious, unsure or _____ (fill in with your own word) you may feel, God is with you.

“The Lord is near to all who call on him,
to all who call on him in truth.” (Psalm 143:18)

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” (Isaiah 43:2)

He has a plan that He wants you to joyfully join in with Him. God’s richest blessings to you, wherever life finds you. His promises are true for all seasons of life.

Ephesians 2:10: “For we are his workmanship, having been created in Christ Jesus for good works that God prepared beforehand so we may do them.”

Jeremiah 29:11 says trust Him always — and rejoice: “For I know what I have planned for you,’ says the LORD. ‘I have plans to prosper you, not to harm you. I have plans to give you a future filled with hope.”

And finally, one I take great hope in — Philippians 1:6: “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”

Please share through the social media buttons at the bottom of the page. If you’d like to receive future posts by email, let me know in the comments below. Or you can join the Pink Reflections Facebook community. Thank you!

How I Know that YOU are an ARTIST!

March 30, 2016Busyness, Freedom, joy, Like a little child, personal growth, Purposelouise

A blank slate can be a scary thing.

It holds infinite possibilities and promise — as well as risk and responsibility. Who wants to commit to a pristine canvas, when you might “mess up?” Who wants to expose her heart for others to interpret? Often insecurity intimidates a would be painter from putting brush to paper.

It’s true in life too. Sometimes we avoid the art of living the abundant life (John 10:10). We prefer to admire or critique the works of others from a distance. We don’t risk engaging with others outside our comfort zones. It’s too messy, so we isolate ourselves in our safe circles of influence.

In my experience, the artist eventually breaks out, and I never regret it. My God-given desire to create and impact the world can’t be quenched.

Art can take a myriad of forms. Conversation. Relationships. Visual arts. Performing arts. Cooking. Sewing. Writing. Software, interior or fashion design. Event planning. Mechanics and engineers. Crafting a business deal, a speech, lecture or a sermon. Gardening and flower arranging. Managing people… all these and more are forms of artistry.

According to the dictionary, to “create” means to bring something into existence or to cause something to happen as a result of one’s actions. Fairly all-encompassing — so I believe an artist is within ALL of us. Don’t trust me… you are an artist because God says so.

Genesis 1:1 says “In the beginning, God created…” He is an Artist. It goes on a few verses later “So God created human beings in his own image.” We are His unique creations, made to create. We all have some form of creative, expressive, influential DNA, derived straight from the Creator of the Universe. We need to find where God is calling us to “create.” Ephesians 2:10 says “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” To glorify Him and edify others.

While each new day is often compared to a blank canvas, I see it a little differently. A canvas, yes, but not a stark white one. Our God never slumbers, so each new day, there’s a picture in progress on the canvas, a story unfolding. We only need to look for Jesus’ hand and join in where He’s already at work. John 5:19 says “Very truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does.”

When I was little I felt tremendous joy in a fresh box of crayons. I still remember the smell and those neat little points! I’ve loved writing and painting all my life. They have always drawn me in and offered me great expression. Rest and peace. But there have been many years where I haven’t painted at all.

After 7th grade, I dropped art class for more rigorous academics. Places I believed could lead me to success and reward. I decided painting was frivolous child’s play. My juvenile assessment persisted into adulthood. Art was for personal enjoyment. Leisure after the important things were done, or not at all. My painting served no real purpose, unless I could be really amazing — a profitable artist or master of my trade.

God is changing my point of view. Today I not only value creative expression, but believe no one is living completely as God desires them to unless they value their creative niche, and risk sharing their God appointed art form with others.

God is using painting in my life in important ways.

Recently, we removed a rarely used pool table and turned our pool room into a TV room. With all those windows, there was too much glare by day and a fish bowl effect by night. And really — who needs multiple sitting rooms? With no more practical uses, I timidly suggested maybe I might paint more if I had a space I could keep “messy.” A studio? And all that natural light made the pool room perfect.

We transformed it, and like many a white canvas, it remained untouched. The shelves were loaded with brushes, art books, canvases and paint… but the artist was not present.

Consumed by what felt urgent, critical, and mine to accomplish, my life’s pace just wasn’t compatible with creativity. Despite helping, going and doing, I felt guilty and inept. I tried hard, but it was never enough — and I was instead being controlled and consumed by my trials… by life on this earth.

Then one day on a whim (and a prayer), I painted something. And right alongside my easel, the Potter began molding His clay, pliable and surrendered in His hands.

He is giving me new Life! A new purpose. After asking me to stop all my busyness and just be, He is beckoning me to His new plan. To work He has uniquely molded me to do (more later on that).

You are an ARTIST! I hope you have discovered a form of artistry that draws you completely into the present moment, as it temporarily drains away worldly concerns and distractions. A place to be vulnerable, authentic and raw. Where you can lose yourself.

God led me back to painting… to teach me about His nature, expose a little more of my flesh, and to transform me for His glory. Artistry is good for that. It helps us embrace and engage fully — letting go of what’s broken and left undone.

Sharing my art requires me to be vulnerable. Trusting God in all the details as I rest, slow down, fill my cup and make time for Him. This “frivolous” creating has allowed God the space to teach me a little more about His desires for me and where He truly wants me to join Him in His work.

Like Eric Lidell said in “Chariot’s of Fire, “I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure.” God gave me a love of painting… and when I paint, I feel His presence and His pleasure. It has less to do with what I produce on the canvas than the freedom and the abundant life He offers, as I become more fully “me.”

Matthew 11:29-30 sheds some light: “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light” (emphasis mine).

Are you drowning in pressure? Do you believe you’re made in the image of God and as such, an artist? Could acknowledging whatever art form God has place in your heart help you gain His Holy perspective?

I hope you have something that provides in-the-moment creative joy in your life. If not, ask God to reveal His gift to you. Then look for where He is already at work, and calling you to join in His creation. Pick up your “paintbrush,” choose your favorite color and go to work with Him on the canvas He has waiting for your contribution.

“To me, the purpose of the arts is to introduce people to life in all its breadth and complexity and thereby to find oneself, others, the world and God more fully.” Gary Collins

Don’t Buy the Hype — You’re Not all that Special

December 7, 2015Freedom, Mid life, personal growth, Purposelouise

A dear friend and I met for a long overdue visit. As we talked about our empty nests and the resulting changes in our lives, we both admitted to a bit of disappointment.

We thought by now we would have accomplished more, obtained more wisdom. We expected to be all round more valuable, important and contributing citizens of the world by our 50s.

A more profound question followed: Is God calling us to just be… ordinary? (gasp)

Perhaps midlife crises are fueled by the eventual realization that the singular and noteworthy “me” I’ve fancied myself to be, doesn’t actually exist. Even the most successful people usually aren’t quite all they once imagined, and all this earth offers doesn’t quite measure up (read Ecclesiastes for a thorough exploration).

A presumed famine of childhood self esteem elicited the “YOU are special” slogans which have been spoon fed to us for decades. They mostly serve to inflate our egos and encourage self absorption. The culture pitched, and we swung at extraordinary lives with all we had. We believed we could “be the change” (even for Jesus), and DO BIG things! WE could be anything and expected to “have it all” along the way, if we only worked hard enough. We were special people living in special times.

What if we’ve defined special and success all wrong? What if we’ve passed on the hype to our kids? What if extraordinary doesn’t mean what our generation generally thought it did?

“Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful.” (1 Corinthians 1:27)

God’s guiding me to reassess life. In the process I’ve felt detached and isolated. Perhaps the nebulous mid life I’ve always heard about is at least partially to blame. What’s happening in me? What is God saying to us in this middle ground?

Whatever this age and stage is… I’m impatient to escape the resulting unrest. My gut says the emptiness isn’t due just to hormones or emotions, but rather transition and transformation.

It would be easier to label it, medicate it, ignore it, hide it, numb it or otherwise busy myself to the point of oblivion, but I don’t think it’s that simple. I can’t just press on as I always have. I feel drawn into a cocoon, but I’m also emerging. God is doing something different in me — creating something altogether new and beautifully ordinary.

As believers we’ve continually been maturing and being transformed (some call it sanctification) as we’ve lived through various seasons — and God’s got much more in store for us. “I will be your God throughout your lifetime–until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you.” (Isaiah 46:4) “And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.” (2 Cor 3:18)

The empty nest gives God a great opportunity. Ambiguity and uncertainty are a part of change. Transitions by nature are liminal or without form. On the threshold between things. In his book “In Midlife” Murray Stein describes liminality “as ‘unformedness’ likened to being the elements of life before life itself is created. It is a time before creativity, but essential to the birth of new forms. A place of the ‘naked soul.'”

Yes! That’s how I feel. An element of the already but not yet. I sense the stillness before something important happens. There’s definitely excitement and anticipation. At the same time I feel stifled and exposed. Unsure and incomplete.

The relief and pleasure of sending my children out into the world has waned, and the space I’ve provided for God to do His new thing in me causes midlife allegations to intensify: you’re aimless… invisible… your life is mundane and meaningless.

While the accusations are untrue, I’m beginning to understand in the depths of my soul just how ordinary I am. Strangely, I think that revelation is part of what God’s been growing me toward.

It’s a little disappointing, but it also takes the pressure off to achieve — more than ever before. The shallow and mundane tasks of life are ordained by God just as much as the profound and impact full “big” moments. “Whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” (1 Corinthians 10:31) The impact of my Granny’s life sure was a great example of that!

My flesh balks at the idea. There’s a part of me that still wants to buy in to the slogans — to do big things. To be renowned. First to repress my own insecurity and then to impress others with my depth and importance. My uniqueness, understanding and achievement.

That’s spiritual pride. And a great pedestal from which I can easily fall into condemning, rebuking and judging others with an utter lack of self-awareness. I’ve encountered these mature and self righteous know-it-alls (Jesus called them Pharisees). I recognize in myself a mid-life tendency to become just such a pious onlooker, and I want to do anything I can to avoid becoming that person.

My flesh may have planned to be seen as profound, wise, useful and spiritually strong. But Jesus came to us as a baby in a lowly manger and died on a cross. Matthew 10:24 says “A disciple is not above his teacher…” By His grace God continually humbles and changes me. What I really want is not for people to see me at all, but to make Jesus more widely known. To love Him more and more. To allow Him to mold me and use me however He chooses.

We are in good company when our bodies grow wrinkly, tired, stiff or sick. When we feel disconnected, invisible or discarded. Misunderstood in an unfamiliar culture where we once had a starring role. The common experiences of humanity safeguard us from self-importance and the heavy heartedness of taking ourselves and our endeavors too seriously. We might have increased limitations as we age, but not the God we serve! In thankfully surrendering to our present role in His story, we will always flourish for God’s kingdom.

God and His business are the things we need to revere and truly take seriously. Certainly not our ordinary selves. So let’s lighten up. Matthew 11:28-30 says “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

By ourselves, we’re not so special. “For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it.” (1 Timothy 6:7) “Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God.” (2 Corinthians 3:5) We’re fallen. Sinful. We are ordinary people, but we’re made in the image of God. He loves each one of us exactly as we are. That’s beyond special.

To be extraordinary, we surrender to being ordinary and needy and let God work in us. “God saved us by his grace when we believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God.” (Ephesians 2:8) He even mysteriously accomplishes salvation in those He chooses, so that none of us can boast.

Saved by grace, we live by grace. Repent and give up our right to play God in our own stories. Then accept that something extra: God our creator, Jesus’ work on the cross, and the gift of His indwelling Holy Spirit — the only extra that matters in giving ordinary people extraordinary lives!

Let Him be extraordinary and give Him all glory — and the possibilities are boundless as we transition into following God into whatever next thing He has in store.

***God’s got a sense of humor. Just after I wrote the longest post ever, I found this familiar verse. God said it much more succinctly and eloquently than I in Romans 12:1-2… “So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.” The Bible is our best guide! AMEN!

Please share this post through the social media buttons at the bottom of the page. If you’d like to receive future posts by email, let me know in the comments below. Or you can join the Pink Reflections Facebook community. Thank you!