Logging off and Plugging In

January 9, 2014personal growth, Purposelouise

Often times I talk or write myself through my thoughts… not knowing at the beginning where I will end up. So, here goes… Sometimes Facebook frustrates me. I don’t begrudge anyone their many joys in life. But every now and then, I feel sad when I look at my screen. The ready supply of smiling faces with great friends, family, good times, travels, etc. distorts what real life is. It can spawn comparisons which are never good. How can we not wonder if our own lives are a little pathetic next to all that glamour and glitz. Events often become more about sharing the picture online than sharing the moment in real life. Social media is the electronic version of keeping up with the Joneses. I am tremendously blessed, but my word — the mountain top experiences of my life come at no where near the rate at which some people post and punctuate their days of bliss. Their 2013 year-in- review highlights must be amazing!

Frustration. Sadness. Comparisons. There must be something deeper.

Am I jealous? Competitive? Insecure? C.S. Lewis says if other people’s “pride” is getting to you, you might need to look for the “plank” in your own eye… It’s true. I can post my best foot forward with the best of them! I enjoy sharing my family and world and having others complement them. That is all well and good. But, I wonder if all the “high life” shared online interferes with authentic relationship and the intimacy we deeply need from one another? Does the fact that everyone else seems to have it all together and be busy making merry make anyone else feel less inclined to reach out? Do we feel others are too busy, perfect or removed to give us “skin on” friendship when we are experiencing a bout with depression, anxiety, or just the sameness of an ordinary day? When we want to just talk face-to-face for no reason, do we reach out?

Articles abound about the unique ills social media are spawning. I’ll also quickly credit Facebook (and other social media) with the positive ways it can be used to spread news, solicit prayers, and help us know a little more about a much wider circle of friends. I don’t dislike facebook per se, and I’ll leave the research to others.

It just seems to me that the real fabric of life and intimacy with others is necessarily absent from Facebook, because it’s not an appropriate forum to bare our hearts. The question is are we following up in REAL life? Are we still taking the time to send a real birthday card, call a friend with our congratulations, stop by with a casserole — or is clicking “like” and commenting, ‘I’m so sorry’ or ‘you are in my prayers’ where we end the connection? Sadly, I think I am guilty of sometimes counting Facebook as a sufficient connection. After all, my online time has to come from a limited supply of hours in my day. In the name of efficiency, am I increasing the volume of friends and family I reach, while sacrificing really touching and knowing people and sharing our lives?

What of the hard times: the opportunities we all have to persevere, to grow in faith and character? The circumstances where God is all we have, and He proves Himself to be enough? Or the everydayness of children, jobs, homes, and aging? While often not Facebook appropriate, they are also times to be shared with those we love and even those we meet. Times to pray together. Times to learn from one another and to know we are not the only ones struggling. In our intensely cyber-connected world, I believe we are hugging less. Sharing less of our real selves. Learning less from each other. Possibly we are less compassionate. Less sincere. We are wide in friendship more than we are deep in relationship. Consequentially, studies say, we are more isolated and lonely than any generation.

My question is this: What can I do to create intimacy and real connection?

Relationship — Father, Son and Holy Spirit is at the core of the Trinity. We are made for relationships of ALL kinds. Our relationship with God is our first priority, and I know that sadly, Facebook curiosity sometimes comes before devotions for me. The Bible also stresses the importance of many other relationships — those with a spouse, children, parents, other Christians, co-workers and unbelievers are all deemed important relationships — worthy of my time and presence, as I seek to live in obedience to Him (see verses below).

Personally, I am feeling disconnected and isolated from real life and real relationships. Despite its decidedly positive side, Facebook is playing a part in my withdrawal from people. Moving to a new town provided fertile ground to log in rather than get involved; my internet history shows way too many visits to Facebook.

The value of Facebook, especially with God’s big picture in mind, is not worth the time and attention I am giving it. God is nudging me to see it as an idol, as I believe He does. As I am currently using it, Facebook keeps me away from Him and His will and purposes for my life. Especially in my relationships with others, it is a cheap substitute for engaging fellowship.

I don’t think I’m all that unique. Following are astounding statistics. Facebook is the largest social network in the world with 500 million active users of whom 50% log in on a daily basis. The average time spent on each Facebook visit is 18 minutes. The average monthly amount of time per user spent on Facebook is 12 hours, with 640,000,000 combined minutes spent on Facebook each month.

What must I do?

Repentance is real change of heart and in behavior that turns me towards God in agreement with Him. I’m not getting totally off Facebook (I don’t think that will be necessary and is sort of throwing out the baby with the bathwater), but I see a problem, an addiction? I’m going to tremendously reduce my interactions and time online. I’m going to consider Facebook as more of a once-a-day venue to transfer and receive news, and try to respond to my friends, especially the local ones, more intimately and more authentically. I believe my life (and hopefully the lives of others) will be richer for it.

Am I alone or does anyone else struggle in this? I would love to hear your thoughts. Logging out and plugging in — I’m off to meet a friend for a walk!

I especially like Hebrews 10:24-25 which says, “and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more, as you see the day drawing near.”

For other relationship verses

http://voices.yahoo.com/10-great-bible-verses-relationships-5185805.html?cat=34:

No Resolutions – just one Goal

January 3, 2014Freedom, personal growth, Purposelouise

It’s January 3^rd. So many worthy resolutions march through my head. They are also militant, insistent, arrogant, stoic, self-centered, heartless… second person accusations pointing to my failures and weaknesses of 2013.

Lose those extra pounds you can’t believe are part of you.
Drink more water. Eat “clean.”
Walk or do something you could call exercise every day! At least 5 minutes!
Read through the Daily Chronological Bible this year – and, um… you are already 2 days behind schedule!
Write notes, send flowers and birthday cards, have and make time for people and encourage them.
Dress nicely for your husband… sweats just don’t cut it.
Learn to paint, play the piano… never stop learning and growing!
Find a church home! It’s been too long. YOU must be the problem.
Visit Mom and Dad at least once a week, and create one-on-one times with them (you want to do this – make it a priority).
Be compassionate and loving and reflect Jesus to your adult children. Parenting is over… trust Jesus and pray more.
Get more sleep. More rest.
Forgive (have you really done this?) and pray for your enemies.
There are many more, but STOP!

New Year’s Resolutions? I told Rob, “I don’t make them, because I never keep them. I set goals, though.” That flippant remark begs the question: What’s the difference?

res·o·lu·tion (rz-lshn) n.1. The state or quality of being resolute; firm determination. 2. A resolving to do something. 3. A course of action determined or decided on.

goal (gl) n. 1. The purpose toward which an endeavor is directed; an objective.

Variations of the above “resolutions” have been in my journals, on index cards, and in my head for years (not just in January). Mine probably look a lot like yours? They are all about my doing something differently or altogether new. And even when the outside of me looks a little better, the truth is I seem to fall back on the same flesh patterns – my particular weaknesses.

So why do the whole resolution thing? It feels like a second person bashing of me by me – not much grace or forgiveness involved. It’s a throwback to my perfectionistic tendencies. I’m ungrateful and impatient with God’s work and progress in me. I’m condemning myself as I compare myself to others. I am not ok with being typical.

But the truth is I am a poor, weak woman with limited talents and resources, trying to learn what it means to put Jesus first – to live the Gospel. To love Jesus and others. To be a follower of Jesus.

These resolutions I’ve been making are no way to begin 2014! Focusing so much on ME is ultimately a form of idolatry.

The truth is I am a sinner and will be until I die, and more importantly, I am loved, forgiven and accepted, and will be forever! Shouldn’t this fact be central to my joy and my purpose? My motivation and my priority?

Resolutions imply self-determined action. If nothing else, my many failed years of setting resolutions have taught me that it doesn’t work that way. Not for me. Maybe not for anyone trying to follow Jesus.

What about having a New Year’s goal? Maybe this is all semantics, but looking toward 2014 and my fiftieth birthday, one goal make sense. When I answered my husband’s questions about resolutions, I was dodging responsibility. I didn’t want to commit to actions I said I should take, when experience told me it might not pan out as laid out. But as I reflect this morning, maybe I am on to something?

A goal is an endeavor or objective… a purpose toward which I am directed. It is less a tiresome list of behavioral mandates, and more a big picture purpose, intention, focus or design.

What if I set this goal: Jesus. Nothing else.

What would it mean if Jesus was my goal? To seek Jesus. To know Jesus. To direct myself toward Jesus. To let Jesus set my purpose. To believe Jesus and His Word. To intentionally see Jesus in His creation and His people. To let Jesus love me. To let His love flow from me. To feel the awe and wonder of Jesus. To accept Jesus’ forgiveness of myself and others. To spend time talking and listening to Jesus. To let go more and more of the world’s views and see Jesus.

The list is endless, because Jesus is infinite. The difference? Jesus is the focus, the reason, the purpose, the answer, the action, the joy, the peace, and the whole big picture. All it takes from me is surrender and the will to make Him my first priority.

I am willing to commit to that, knowing I am covered in His grace, mercy, and love. When I inevitably forget, fail and falter in my goal… I will grab His hand again, and whisper, “Jesus.”

Matthew 6:33 New Living Translation “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.”

My 2013 goal is to keep my focus on Jesus. Just that… Jesus. I’ll trust Him for the rest. I may also do some of the list I started with, but they are simply good and worthy second tier behaviors. Only Jesus is worthy of being a goal. The wonderful second place things in my life are not even on the same list! They aren’t my 2014 goal and purpose. Only Jesus. There’s power in His name.

Whispers of God

December 26, 2013gratitude, personal growth, Purposelouise

It’s the morning of Christmas Eve, and I’m the only one up. Tears stream as I watch Godvine videos. When I have tears like this, there’s usually a deep truth to acknowledge.

On Godvine, I watched a skinny “Santa” giving coats, gloves, hugs, and bowls of soup to the homeless. A choir sings Christmas hymns in a mall, ending with O Holy Night and scores of shoppers kneeling before Mary, Joseph and Jesus as they walk into the gathered crowd. Even a pit bull puppy was in my teary-video mix. It seems this rambunctious dog has a compassionate gift. He spends days in a veterinary hospital and naturally snuggles with other animals who are suffering.

I can’t help but make comparisons. Jesus — do I have anything to offer? How can I share You with a hurting world? in my home? with my friends? in my city? Where do you want me, and how can I best reveal You? I feel inept, like I am letting You down, Jesus. Like I am missing my mark or wasting my life. I softly sob. I want to be different, like those on the videos. They share You through their lives, and people feel loved, encouraged, joyful. What is my gift, Jesus? How is it that I can share Your love? Share You, Jesus?

The following quotes from writers much more eloquent than I pour into my soul this morning.

“You are most prepared for Christmas when you are done trying to make your performance into the gift — and instead revel in His *presence* as the Gift.” Ann Voskamp

John Wesley died with the words, “The best of all is, God is with us” on his tongue. These words could beat joy in our hearts on a night like this.”

Ann Voskamp “is a broken, weary sinner who joins a weary world rejoicing that Jesus is coming, that Love comes down — that there is the deep relief that Christmas and Christ, our only hope, is coming and this the most glorious news that has ever really happened.”

My prayer: What is the answer, Jesus? I am painting and writing. I am sharing myself, and what you have done in me. In this casual blog writing, I don’t feel at my best. I’m better at a more formal and less vulnerable style. But I know, You are the gift, Jesus! It is not about me at all. Please help me to simply give. To follow you and your nudge to me. Help me to trust you.

We’re at the Christmas Eve service, singing “In the Bleak of Midwinter.” This line jumps off the page, “What can I give Him poor as I am? If I were a shepherd, I would bring a lamb; if I were a wise man, I would do my part; yet what can I give Him — give Him my heart.” There’s my answer — the one I knew all along, but so quickly forget.

It’s December the 26th, and God wants to be sure I heard Him. Today’s devotional added a final stamp to God’s Christmas message to me. I can’t sing or dance. I’m not really remarkable at much. I’m a very ordinary person, with everyday type talents. Like the widow in Mark you could call me “impoverished” in the talents-that-encourage-and-move-people category. But I know and love Jesus, and He loves me. He is with me always. And that is all I need to do what He purposes for me. Now, if only I will remember.

Today’s devotional follows:

December 26, 2013

Quiet Devotion

By Michael Youssef, Ph.D.

In Mark, Jesus makes note of the actions of a simple widow:

[The Lord] sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a fraction of a penny.

Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on” (Mark 12:41-44).

While many people came to the temple, hoping to be seen and to make an offering that would bring awe and approval, this humble widow gave all she had to the Lord—seeking only to worship Him and to be found faithful in His eyes. She was not caught up in the trappings of her society. Nor did she wonder what others thought of her. Her only thought was to obey the Lord and to demonstrate her love for Him.

In fact, this woman probably knew that if the temple leaders saw her meager offering, they would scowl, but she knew God would bless her obedience and quiet devotion.

Is the attitude of your heart set on the Savior, or do you compare yourself to others and strive to do what appears right from the world’s perspective? God has a different grading scale. It is one of grace and infinite love. When the motivation of your heart is right, you will sense His good pleasure and blessing. All that you do will glorify Him, and He will guard your heart and mind with His mercy and grace.

Prayer: Lord, my purpose in this world is to love You with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength. You are worthy of my devotion. Continue to search my heart so that I will be only Yours. I pray in the name of Jesus. Amen.