All posts by louise

How God Made my “Quiet Time” really NOISY!

August 19, 2015Freedom, heart of prayer, joy, Like a little childlouise

Do you believe The Bible, but you don’t really FEEL God’s presence? Or KNOW Jesus?

Have you tried to LISTEN FOR GOD, but only heard your own thoughts?

Does you prayer time feel like you are just putting deposits in a vending machine and hoping for some relief or favor to come to you?

Maybe you need a noisy quiet time too.

If you’ve read my past few posts, you know God’s teaching me to loosen my grip on the ways I’ve always defined my life with Him and to pray and abide in Him in new ways.

Even my children used to tell me “let’s just listen, Mommy” when I tried to sing along with their Wee Sing cassettes (that really dates me)… but God is calling me to make a joyful noise! And the time with Him is so sweet.

I encourage you to give praise — intimate, no multi-tasking (this is important), out-loud, one-on-one praise and worship with Him a try!

There’s a story my parent’s tell of being in our balcony pew one Sunday, when I burst into song. I was quite young — maybe more familiar with the nursery toys than the sanctuary rituals. As the acolytes lit the candles, I broke out in an uninhibited, joyful rendition of “Happy Birthday!” It undoubtedly embarrassed my family.

But I’m pretty sure my childish singing delighted Jesus.

God created us in his own image to enjoy His gifts of laughter, work, play, food, hope, rest, creating, love… And yes, He desires for ALL of us (even those, like me, who say “I can’t”) to worship, praise and sing! To make a joyful noise!

Jesus, the beauty of all He is, gives believers ample reason to sing our hearts out. In fact it’s His glory that calls worship from our hearts to be expressed from our lips. (Revelation 5:6–14, 7:9–12).

But I rarely really let myself go anymore. I’ve learned to censor the exuberance of childhood. Despite feeling deep love and appreciation for Jesus, I let my belief that “I can’t sing” stop me from fully obeying God’s command. “Let us sing to the Lord; let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation! Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving; let us make a joyful noise to him with songs of praise! For the Lord is a great God, and a great King above all gods.” (Psalm 95:1-2)

Why does God command us to praise Him anyway? His nature is not that of a narcissist, demanding compliments to feed His ego. He’s not asking for a vain litany of adoration or a never ending eulogy. There is more.

C.S. Lewis said, “I think we delight to praise what we enjoy, because the praise not merely expresses but completes the enjoyment; it is its appointed consummation.” When we sing and worship God, He communicates His presence to us.

Could it be, He commands us to sing our praises to Him, so that He can gracefully use our songs of worship to bless us? It seems He wants to GIVE US MORE.

Praise is not dutiful, but spontaneous. Enjoyment, appreciation and approval flow into praise — unless we resist. Praise is everywhere!

Lovers can’t praise enough — “I love you” just doesn’t contain all that we feel. When we read a good book, experience the majesty of nature, taste a great meal or wine — flowers, children, sunsets, sports events… no great experience feels complete until we share it in praise and encourage others to join us! We effortlessly praise what we value. Isn’t she beautiful? Wasn’t that amazing!? Did you notice how spectacular…?

God gives us Himself, then seeks the superlative praise of our hearts because, as Lewis said, “all enjoyment spontaneously overflows into praise.” That’s how we’re made. All of us. Enjoyment itself is minimized if not expressed in celebration.

Today we love to share our enjoyment on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram!

You know how you plan to just glance at your newsfeed, but then it grabs you, swallows you up, and you burn through an hour in clicking before you realize it? That’s what happened to me when I was home alone one morning… and oh, was it GLORIOUS!

I clicked on a song… a rendition of “Amazing Grace” that someone just had to share. I listened and sang in my kitchen. It reminded me of Vince Gill and Carrie Underwood’s magnificent “How Great Thou Art.” I played it, sang and cried. I sang and praised HIm through “Who am I,” “I can Only Imagine,” “In the Garden” and “Say Amen.”

The quality of my voice didn’t matter a bit, as I sang like the little child I once was. I cried joyfully. Lifted my hands. And generally spent an intimate moment with God, lost in honest praise and thanksgiving.

The purpose of this post is to encourage you to do the same… Find some time alone, and sing you heart out to Jesus. Youtube is full of beautiful songs. You too will be blessed — and I’d LOVE to hear about it!

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My Big, Fat Summer Vacation was Not what I Expected

August 4, 2015Busyness, heart of prayer, joy, personal growth, Purposelouise

Do you feel like you need a vacation? A break from everything? Are you burned out? Exhausted? Could it be a sabbatical of sorts is just what the Great Healer is ordering? That’s what happened to me this summer — in a most unexpected manner.

“In the natural life our ambitions are our own, but in the Christian life we have no goals of our own. We talk so much about our decision for Christ, our determination to be good Christians, and our decisions for this and that, but in the New Testament the only aspect that is brought out is the compelling purpose of God. “You did not choose Me, but I chose you” (John 16:16) …

We are not taken into conscious agreement with God’s purpose — we are taken into God’s purposes with no awareness of it at all.” (Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest)

It’s been 3 months since I last posted about the fruit of the Spirit. At the time, ideas for future posts raced in my head. Then — nothing. I try to write only when God is prompting me. He hasn’t again, until now.

The excerpt above is a great framework for where God is working in me. If you’re worn out, overwhelmed, and feel there’s got to be more to this life, you might relate to my story.

Back in the spring, I was working hard to know the life God wanted for me. Bible Study was going well. I was discovering my role on the Young Life Board. We haven’t joined a church, so I recommitted to the search. To building community here in Tallahassee (after all, it’s been 3 years). I was trying my best to be a good wife, mother, daughter, sister, neighbor and friend — and praying my way through it all. When God gently said, “Stop.”

Not audibly, but clearly. I knew deep inside that I needed to cease doing most of the things that currently defined life for me — what felt comfortable, right and good. Even things that “had worked” in the past. I sheepishly graduated my Bible Study group (who continue beautifully on their own). I totally missed church for more than a month of Sundays with summer travel. Thankfully, not much is currently required of me — because I’ve been strangely unable to initiate, organize, read, serve, pray or otherwise accomplish in my usual ways (poor Rob).

I resisted the temptation to gear up when life began to get uncomfortably slow… and I let myself putter to a quiet stop.

Despite my ineptitude, I haven’t felt far from God. I know He is here and orchestrating the details, even though I’ve been too distracted for months to mutter much more than one-liner prayers. Instead, I’m looking to Him without words and accepting His provision and promises. All my striving to be who I thought God wanted me to be was exhausting me and making me literally sick.

“There is a path before each person that seems right, but it ends in death.” (Proverbs 18:12)

“Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Matthew 11:29-30 – emphasis mine)

While on the surface there is somewhat normal-looking activity, my usual spiritual activity has been abruptly interrupted. I’ve felt sheepish, but not guilty. I think He’s teaching me to rest and listen for His voice…

Last weekend, for the first time in a long while, He enveloped me in His peace. The kind that passes understanding. The kind that’s all about Jesus and His promises. The kind that settles in and grows.

God is good. All the time. He has a plan even when it makes no sense — especially then. Because if we have life figured out and under control, it’s probably our own agendas at play.

He is more than worthy of our trust. Truth and insight continue to overcome me. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control” (Galatians 5:22-23).

Yes… His fruit was the gift of grace I experienced driving home from another summer trip. And in the midst of several scattered showers, literally visible across the south Georgia landscape, we saw a brilliant, full arc rainbow.

In my last post, I suggested we want to be less like revved up race cars following the pace car (Jesus) and more like lowly containers on a freight train, with Jesus as our engine.

It’s obvious now that as I wrote, I was still in full race car mode. Jesus has not only ground my engine to a stop, but is inviting me to exit my car. To walk away from my definitions of a good Christian life, and hitch my life to His anew. Surrender is never ending.

We almost cancelled our trip to England and Ireland this summer. Since we went, it felt important for Jesus to “meet me there” and give me meaningful interactions with others and with Himself. I wanted my travel to count for more than just “self-indulgent vacationing.” I had ideas of how this might look, and tried to be alert for Jesus each day. Sounds like a race car just waiting to be cut loose!

Instead it felt like I was vacationing from God too — in Europe and all through the summer. My images of how He would “show up” didn’t materialize. The countryside was artistry. The Cliffs of Moher rising out of the ocean — majestic. The people warm and inviting. Overall, the trip was very restful and insightful, but I never found a space for normal “quiet time” or the things I wanted to do. Still, His hand was sovereign and His presence obvious.

Any “work” accomplished hasn’t been done BY me, but IN me and in spite of me. He is asking me to release my old view of Christian life and trust Him to light my way. In the present. In each moment. To be surrendered and available for His purposes. Being open to His will sometimes requires a little planned neglect.

I’m certainly not advocating for anyone to quit church, praying or reading God’s Word — quite the opposite. But I think I was so caught up in trying to do it all, and do it right, that I was often missing Him and His will.

In His wisdom God created for me, even seemingly mandated, a summer vacation of sorts. A sabbatical from all I believed useful and necessary to do for Him. He caused me to cease my busyness (even spiritual busyness) in order to rest in Him. To experience His Fruit in new ways. And to create a space with enough silence to really listen for His still small voice. That’s where I’m expectantly waiting today.

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Chasing Fruit

May 2, 2015Freedom, gratitude, heart of prayer, joy, Like a little child, personal growth, Purposelouise

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the fruit of the Spirit. I want to grasp and apply what it looks like to walk in the Spirit. A promising and adventurous ride is underway. After a long detour on the road to nowhere, God is teaching me much and giving me great hope. For starters I’ll admit where I’ve been.

Despite my best “good girl” intentions, most of my life I’ve misunderstood love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control as Christian virtues I should strive for.

The Bible is a Love Story — Genesis to Revelations. There’s always danger in lifting even a seemingly straightforward verse out of context. Let me illustrate.

If I tape Galatians 5:22-23 on my mirror as God’s standard and set out each day to be more loving, joyful, peaceful etc., the fruit of the Spirit may still allude me entirely. In the midst of fatigue, distractions, bad circumstances, and even mountaintops, I can so easily forget my goal. Then you’ll find me defeated and frustrated with myself — wondering why I’m so slow in becoming more like Jesus.

Other times I may experience limited success. Friends and family may describe me as kind, gentle, or even loving. Those times make me sincerely happy that I’ve been a positive light. It feels good, but I see the reality of my insides and claim only partial victory. Besides, I still want the fruit I’m missing — especially the elusive JOY that gave Paul a heart to sing in prison.

At the end of those “good” days I remember to thank God for the successes. I ask for more of His fruit that I can’t seem to reach. Maybe even seek His direct assistance in my quest to live out His Christian virtues — especially the lofty fruit on the uppermost branches. I’m trying hard, but those are just too high for me to reach alone. I need a little help, please God. Sounds like an okay system of prayer and fruit production, right?

100 percent NO!

If I try in my own power to be more loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good,faithful, gentle and self-controlled — I may experience some fragmented success. But most of all I will have fueled my self sufficiency which produces pride. My goal is performance and recognition (for myself and God at best). I am self motivated, even if I sincerely want to be salt and light for God. And I seriously doubt my prayers that He assist in the work of my flesh line up with His desires. It’s subtle, but all I’m doing is opposed to the dead-to-self, dependent, God-focused life of walking in the Spirit.

I’ve given my best efforts to the task for fifty years, and Louise is simply not a spiritual fruit smoothie! No matter how diligently I seek to follow Jesus and to be like Him, I fail. My heart ultimately deceives me.

I’ve settled for little tastes of the various “fruits” at different times. Thankful for the larger servings, and resigned that the Big Kahuna of spiritual fruit just doesn’t come that easily. Maybe I should focus more on developing patience? Or just determine myself to be more self disciplined?

If you can relate, don’t despair… there is a simple and wonderful answer, that really is doable! Shift gears with me to a metaphor of explanation I’m borrowing from John Ortberg. It’s powerful.

How do we follow Jesus or walk in the Spirit?

Think of a pace car (Jesus) at the Daytona 500. All the cars (you and me) rev their motors, dreaming of the moment when the checkered flag (Holy Spirit) gives the signal to race. We have fine tuned our engines. Filled them only with the very best fuels. Painted, polished and prepared for the race to come. Until then, we obediently follow the leader. We mirror His pace and direction. Where He goes, we go — well as best as possible on a crowded track. We wouldn’t dare break lose without His direct command (opened door). We are Jesus followers!

Like when I tried to chase the virtues, we’re looking to Jesus. Following His lead. Waiting for His opened door, desiring to do great things… sounds like a good posture. “There is a path before each person that seems right, but it ends in death” (Proverbs 16:25). Good ideas and best intentions aren’t enough. Every race car eventually crashes and burns. Leave that track for another. Consider a locomotive with a long line of humble freight cars…

Jesus is the engine. We (the body of Christ) are hooked to Him, each in the place God chooses with the functional composition He desires. He provides our power, our direction, our purpose, our life. Without Him we are nothing. We belong to Him to be used as He sees fit. We do nothing at all except in His strength. He doesn’t need us, but He lovingly wants to use us to carry out His purposes… what a privilege! What a joy!

It’s not up to us to worry about all the details or the outcomes. We just need to cling to Him and let Him do the work through us. In John 15:5 Jesus says it this way, “”Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.” It’s a different metaphor, but a similar picture.

God is revealing so much to me about how I’ve conformed to the world’s view of life, even as I struggle to understand what it looks like to walk in the Spirit. Here’s a taste of simple truths I’m learning.

I no longer deliberately set seeking His fruit (yep – it’s singular) as the goal. I realize I can’t be all those things, but I can surrender to let His Spirit have His way with me. In those times, I will exhibit fruit. With the help of more learned minds than mine, I’m looking to all of Scripture to give context to Galatians 5:22-23.

When I’m focused on trying hard to be fruity (a good Christian), it’s a sign that my love for Him is incomplete. When being in a continual, trusting relationship with God is my focus and priority, He transforms me. His fruit flows with regularity and spontaneity from His nature within me. It’s happened a few times, and oh is it sweet.

I can’t explain it, but I know it’s all Him. All credit, honor and praise for anything good in me goes to God. His work through the Holy Spirit producing the fruit of the Spirit in me and through me. That’s a ride I don’t want to miss!

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