Category Archives: personal growth

How to Rid yourself of Smoldering Discontent

April 16, 2016For parents, Freedom, gratitude, joy, Mid life, personal growth, Purposelouise

We’re not so different from the wandering Hebrew people who wanted to return to slavery in Egypt — just after God miraculously rescued them. Familiarity feels safe and comfortable. Even more so when we enjoyed our yesterdays. We long to go back instead of trusting God today and into our future. We often let a smoldering discontent permeate our being.

Webster’s offers the following definitions

SMOLDERING: feeling a strong emotion but keeping it hidden
DISCONTENT: not pleased or satisfied

I’m a midlife, empty nest mom… some might add in a midlIfe crisis? These middle years showcase a well-discussed season of change and transition. I’m writing from my current perspective, but my post could apply equally well to many others: from someone just graduating college, to someone in their so-called “golden years,” or anyone facing change and transition.

Rob and I moved to a new town … when I was turning 48… after my nest emptied a 2nd time… to start a new business… as we gutted our house. I worked full time with him and tried to juggle relationships and the changing dynamics in our family sandwich (us in the middle of aging parents and launching “children”).

Let’s just say I was too crazy busy and distracted to know which way was up. God had blessed me with a marriage beyond my dreams, and that was enough for a while.

After a few years, my recovery from unexpected surgery stopped me in my tracks. That’s when I started realizing our life wasn’t quite what I wanted. Little felt comfortable or familiar to me, so I assumed our life needed my attention to “fix” things. Get us back to what we had always dreamed life would be. That’s when discontent slithered in… and began smoldering.

I started worrying and scheming. Why hadn’t we found the “right” church. We needed to develop friendships. Were we good parents … good children? Were we engaged enough in the community? Should we travel more? Serve better? Play tennis again? Why was it so hard to have quality time with God like I used to? Or exercise? Or read my book club books? Everything had previously fit into my life neatly like a puzzle. 5000 tiny pieces… it was chaotic and zany at times, but it all worked together. I was living the American dream – raising a family. Now, I didn’t really have a relevant dream. Maybe if I just better organized the remaining pieces…

Though I tried to ignore it, discontentment flavored even the best parts of my life. I might be around another 30-50 years. Is life really about trying to reclaim a few shining moments of my past dreams? Or do I want to open my heart, mind and resources to the abundant life God promises me TODAY. And every day that I will surrender to Him in gratitude and trust.

The AHA moment came. So gently it had to be a divine message. “Louise, I am doing something new.”

At first I said, “Great! I’ll get everything ready for you, God! I know the framework for a good life!”

I redoubled efforts to reclaim or recreate everything good from before and find ways to make it fit into our life today. Ever heard of the round hole and the square peg?

Again gently, but with clarity God said, “Stop. Stop your doing.”

Me: “Even the good and worthy stuff? That which you directed?”

God: “Stop doing life as you know it, in order to make room for Me and My plan.”

(This “conversation” isn’t real. It’s my attempt to communicate several years of devotions, Bible study, prayer and my responses as God led me. Transitions are often slow and comprised of many small, courageous moments of obedience.)

Me: “Ok. I’ll stop — well except for a couple things. Obligations that would be embarrassing to back out of early.”

Life felt selfish. Slow. Not very exciting, but I appreciated the rest. Then new circumstances kicked in, and I dropped out of even the last couple “old ways of doing things” — that’s when God spoke discipline and wisdom to me very personally.

God: “Let go of your determination to serve and to live your way, and follow me.”

Why did I think I knew what my life was “supposed” to look like? I memorized Proverbs 3:5-6 as a child, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

While rapidly moving forward, as life tends to do, I was constantly looking backwards for answers. Wanting to be where I once was or grasp what I thought I had missed out on. In the process, I was missing much of God’s best in the present. I was also putting myself at risk; I think Satan loves our stubborn discontentment. My way left little room for God to show me the new and abundant life He has for me NOW. The NEW plan for THIS TIME that He’s been working toward all along!

Imagine driving a car while steadily gazing in your rearview and side mirrors! It’s dangerous (I know from taking these pictures). Mirrors are only to glance back, to see if there is information that might help you as you move forward, giving utmost attention to the road ahead.

I realized I needed to confess my grip on the gifts from my yesterdays of active motherhood and a full house. Turn to Him and be grateful. Learn lessons. Cherish memories. Trust God, and let Him do a new thing in the spaces left by what is seasonally in my past. Live fully engaged in the present — where God is with me.

I believe an omnipotent God has been allowing and orchestrating all the events of my life to this day. He has an ongoing plan for me, and I only need to seek Him in order to discover what He has already prepared. He will give me all the resources I need to live abundantly for as long as He gives me breath. And then He will welcome me to heaven! He’ll do this for you too, if you’ll let Him.

Phillipians 4:19 promises us, “And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.”

God wants to heal the smoldering discontent — sin — in our lives, and transition us toward His gift of peace that passes understanding. To redefine and refocus our efforts to serve Him. To give us a new dream, uniquely suited to where He holds us today.

No matter how hopeless, lonely, scared, sick, tired, overwhelmed, depressed, obsolete, unworthy, broken, anxious, unsure or _____ (fill in with your own word) you may feel, God is with you.

“The Lord is near to all who call on him,
to all who call on him in truth.” (Psalm 143:18)

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” (Isaiah 43:2)

He has a plan that He wants you to joyfully join in with Him. God’s richest blessings to you, wherever life finds you. His promises are true for all seasons of life.

Ephesians 2:10: “For we are his workmanship, having been created in Christ Jesus for good works that God prepared beforehand so we may do them.”

Jeremiah 29:11 says trust Him always — and rejoice: “For I know what I have planned for you,’ says the LORD. ‘I have plans to prosper you, not to harm you. I have plans to give you a future filled with hope.”

And finally, one I take great hope in — Philippians 1:6: “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”

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How I Know that YOU are an ARTIST!

March 30, 2016Busyness, Freedom, joy, Like a little child, personal growth, Purposelouise

A blank slate can be a scary thing.

It holds infinite possibilities and promise — as well as risk and responsibility. Who wants to commit to a pristine canvas, when you might “mess up?” Who wants to expose her heart for others to interpret? Often insecurity intimidates a would be painter from putting brush to paper.

It’s true in life too. Sometimes we avoid the art of living the abundant life (John 10:10). We prefer to admire or critique the works of others from a distance. We don’t risk engaging with others outside our comfort zones. It’s too messy, so we isolate ourselves in our safe circles of influence.

In my experience, the artist eventually breaks out, and I never regret it. My God-given desire to create and impact the world can’t be quenched.

Art can take a myriad of forms. Conversation. Relationships. Visual arts. Performing arts. Cooking. Sewing. Writing. Software, interior or fashion design. Event planning. Mechanics and engineers. Crafting a business deal, a speech, lecture or a sermon. Gardening and flower arranging. Managing people… all these and more are forms of artistry.

According to the dictionary, to “create” means to bring something into existence or to cause something to happen as a result of one’s actions. Fairly all-encompassing — so I believe an artist is within ALL of us. Don’t trust me… you are an artist because God says so.

Genesis 1:1 says “In the beginning, God created…” He is an Artist. It goes on a few verses later “So God created human beings in his own image.” We are His unique creations, made to create. We all have some form of creative, expressive, influential DNA, derived straight from the Creator of the Universe. We need to find where God is calling us to “create.” Ephesians 2:10 says “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” To glorify Him and edify others.

While each new day is often compared to a blank canvas, I see it a little differently. A canvas, yes, but not a stark white one. Our God never slumbers, so each new day, there’s a picture in progress on the canvas, a story unfolding. We only need to look for Jesus’ hand and join in where He’s already at work. John 5:19 says “Very truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does.”

When I was little I felt tremendous joy in a fresh box of crayons. I still remember the smell and those neat little points! I’ve loved writing and painting all my life. They have always drawn me in and offered me great expression. Rest and peace. But there have been many years where I haven’t painted at all.

After 7th grade, I dropped art class for more rigorous academics. Places I believed could lead me to success and reward. I decided painting was frivolous child’s play. My juvenile assessment persisted into adulthood. Art was for personal enjoyment. Leisure after the important things were done, or not at all. My painting served no real purpose, unless I could be really amazing — a profitable artist or master of my trade.

God is changing my point of view. Today I not only value creative expression, but believe no one is living completely as God desires them to unless they value their creative niche, and risk sharing their God appointed art form with others.

God is using painting in my life in important ways.

Recently, we removed a rarely used pool table and turned our pool room into a TV room. With all those windows, there was too much glare by day and a fish bowl effect by night. And really — who needs multiple sitting rooms? With no more practical uses, I timidly suggested maybe I might paint more if I had a space I could keep “messy.” A studio? And all that natural light made the pool room perfect.

We transformed it, and like many a white canvas, it remained untouched. The shelves were loaded with brushes, art books, canvases and paint… but the artist was not present.

Consumed by what felt urgent, critical, and mine to accomplish, my life’s pace just wasn’t compatible with creativity. Despite helping, going and doing, I felt guilty and inept. I tried hard, but it was never enough — and I was instead being controlled and consumed by my trials… by life on this earth.

Then one day on a whim (and a prayer), I painted something. And right alongside my easel, the Potter began molding His clay, pliable and surrendered in His hands.

He is giving me new Life! A new purpose. After asking me to stop all my busyness and just be, He is beckoning me to His new plan. To work He has uniquely molded me to do (more later on that).

You are an ARTIST! I hope you have discovered a form of artistry that draws you completely into the present moment, as it temporarily drains away worldly concerns and distractions. A place to be vulnerable, authentic and raw. Where you can lose yourself.

God led me back to painting… to teach me about His nature, expose a little more of my flesh, and to transform me for His glory. Artistry is good for that. It helps us embrace and engage fully — letting go of what’s broken and left undone.

Sharing my art requires me to be vulnerable. Trusting God in all the details as I rest, slow down, fill my cup and make time for Him. This “frivolous” creating has allowed God the space to teach me a little more about His desires for me and where He truly wants me to join Him in His work.

Like Eric Lidell said in “Chariot’s of Fire, “I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure.” God gave me a love of painting… and when I paint, I feel His presence and His pleasure. It has less to do with what I produce on the canvas than the freedom and the abundant life He offers, as I become more fully “me.”

Matthew 11:29-30 sheds some light: “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light” (emphasis mine).

Are you drowning in pressure? Do you believe you’re made in the image of God and as such, an artist? Could acknowledging whatever art form God has place in your heart help you gain His Holy perspective?

I hope you have something that provides in-the-moment creative joy in your life. If not, ask God to reveal His gift to you. Then look for where He is already at work, and calling you to join in His creation. Pick up your “paintbrush,” choose your favorite color and go to work with Him on the canvas He has waiting for your contribution.

“To me, the purpose of the arts is to introduce people to life in all its breadth and complexity and thereby to find oneself, others, the world and God more fully.” Gary Collins

Changing One Word Made All the Difference in My Prayer

January 16, 2016Freedom, heart of prayer, personal growthlouise

Do you ever wish God would just wave His magic wand and clean up the pain and messiness in your life? He is able. Ephesians 3:20 says “God can do anything, you know – far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams!” But… the verse goes on to say, “He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.”

I’ve been living in crisis mode. I’m sure you can relate — life on earth is full of ups and downs, twists and turns. John 16:33 guarantees it, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

In our crises we turn to God and beg Him — make it BETTER! Heal us, change this situation, turn the tide, fix what’s broken, give me a job, money, love… anything we perceive as blessing — just make my situation better, Lord! We sometimes pray like God is a vending machine… we insert our prayers, and He is supposed to dispense our selected outcomes.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with desiring relief, comfort or even ease. Or for praying for miracles, blessings, and good outcomes. But just before my current crisis began, I read a blog suggesting we also pray for God to make it COUNT. That has been my prayer, and it’s made a magnificent difference.

I can pray “God, make it count” with confidence and expectation. Make it count in ALL the lives this situation touches… in my life. This prayer helps me to focus on Him and to trust God with the outcomes in the lives of others, while cooperating with His work in my own life.

My prayer is continuous and peppered with thanksgiving and praise, despite ongoing troubles. This prayer has helped me to truly trust that He will teach me through it all. Use it to sanctify me. Heal my brokenness and crucify more of my flesh. To show me His protection and love anew. For His Glory into eternity. Somehow, this prayer helped familiar words all make sense.

If you earnestly pray “make it count” in your current situation — get ready. My experience is God doesn’t waste time in getting started! He uniquely works in each life touched by a situation to whatever degree we will surrender to His hand. He may not make it “better” in our human estimation — but He WILL make it count for eternity and His Kingdom.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8-9)

Almost immediately His Holy Spirit began stirring my heart and mind. Revealing His truth. It’s been painful at times. Humbling. But I don’t want to squander the opportunity He is affording me… so I continue to be attentive to Him and His Word in the most trusting obedience I have to offer, albeit fumbling and immature. I am clay in His hands.

“Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you.” 1 Peter 4:12 makes it clear that sometimes we’re meant to suffer. Another devotional I read lately reminded me that my obedience to Christ will sometimes cause others to suffer. I’m still to be obedient and trust His hand in their lives, even when it involves trials.

In the midst of it all I turn to a beloved and familiar verse. Romans 8:28 says “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Make it count sheds a new light —

I think as believers we often interpret Paul’s reassuring words to mean “Don’t worry. No matter what’s happening, God’s going to make it all better!” We need to know that God is at work. Even in THIS He will accomplish His will. The story of Joseph is great biblical example for this truth — and we cling to the hope that he will bless us here and now.

James 1:2-4 says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” God’s refining, sanctifying work is often painful, but the fruit is so worth the struggle — if we will surrender to Him. Sometimes we struggle a while, then get “happy” endings that we can see and understand. But not always.

The Bible tells us that God sovereignly allows or orchestrates all events, for His glory and our good. Count on that “betterment.” But there is no guarantee that the trial will “turn around” or get “better.” Sometimes He will rescue us, heal us, give an unexpected blessing in the midst of suffering. Other times it’s precisely our suffering that accomplishes His desire. Just as Jesus suffered and died on the cross to pay for our sins.

Our faith in God’s sovereign goodness cannot be tied to circumstances or outcomes — if Joseph had remained unfairly incarcerated forever, God would not be any less good, nor His will less than perfect.

So what is the great promise of Romans 8:28? No matter what we experience or endure on this earth, our eternity with God is assured. Nothing can hinder His plans for our future glorification. God uses all for our temporal and eternal good — no matter what things look like or how they feel to us.

Back to my situation. What has praying “God, let it count — for Your Kingdom and my sanctification” done? It has tremendously enhanced my eternal perspective, in my own experiences and for others. And I am sincerely grateful for His continued refining, even as I feel the uncomfortable heat of His fire.

A minister prayed beautifully (I wish I could say it as well as he) that God would make himself known in these circumstances and move miraculously among us, so that we would be compelled to tell the story of His great work — and He would be glorified in it all. Peter said it this way, “But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen.” ( 2 Peter 3:18)

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