Category Archives: Freedom

“My Utmost for His Highest” — Yes, that’s it!

IMG_2557“Will we allow Him to help Himself to us, or are we more concerned with our own ideas of what we are going to be?” (complete devotion below)

Had to share this from My Utmost for His Highest… a theological explanation by Oswald Chambers of what God wants to accomplish in my life and yours.

In Sunday’s post to Pink Reflections I tried to understand and articulate the infancy of God’s work during the last few months of my abandoning “normal.” Chambers articulates God’s desire so simply. We even need to surrender our definitions of  “church work” and “good things” as we relinquish our right to our own life and let our activities and moments originate in Him. To God be all Glory.

A Bondservant of Jesus

A Bondservant of Jesus

I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me… —Galatians 2:20

These words mean the breaking and collapse of my independence brought about by my own hands, and the surrendering of my life to the supremacy of the Lord Jesus. No one can do this for me, I must do it myself. God may bring me up to this point three hundred and sixty-five times a year, but He cannot push me through it. It means breaking the hard outer layer of my individual independence from God, and the liberating of myself and my nature into oneness with Him; not following my own ideas, but choosing absolute loyalty to Jesus. Once I am at that point, there is no possibility of misunderstanding. Very few of us know anything about loyalty to Christ or understand what He meant when He said, “…for My sake” (Matthew 5:11). That is what makes a strong saint.

Has that breaking of my independence come? All the rest is religious fraud. The one point to decide is— will I give up? Will I surrender to Jesus Christ, placing no conditions whatsoever as to how the brokenness will come? I must be broken from my own understanding of myself. When I reach that point, immediately the reality of the supernatural identification with Jesus Christ takes place. And the witness of the Spirit of God is unmistakable— “I have been crucified with Christ….”

The passion of Christianity comes from deliberately signing away my own rights and becoming a bondservant of Jesus Christ. Until I do that, I will not begin to be a saint.

One student a year who hears God’s call would be sufficient for God to have called the Bible Training College into existence. This college has no value as an organization, not even academically. Its sole value for existence is for God to help Himself to lives. Will we allow Him to help Himself to us, or are we more concerned with our own ideas of what we are going to be?

WISDOM FROM OSWALD CHAMBERS

We are all based on a conception of importance, either our own importance, or the importance of someone else; Jesus tells us to go and teach based on the revelation of His importance. “All power is given unto Me.… Go ye therefore ….”  So Send I You, 1325 R

http://utmost.org/a-bondservant-of-jesus/

SIN: Great Description! Hint: It’s Not All About Immorality

“Just as through one man sin entered the world, and death through sin, and thus death spread to all men, because all sinned…” (Romans 5:12)  

IMG_3622“The nature of sin is not immorality and wrongdoing, but the nature of self-realization which leads us to say, “I am my own god.” This nature may exhibit itself in proper morality or in improper immorality, but it always has a common basis—my claim to my right to myself. When our Lord faced either people with all the forces of evil in them, or people who were clean-living, moral, and upright, He paid no attention to the moral degradation of one, nor any attention to the moral attainment of the other. He looked at something we do not see, namely, the nature of man.

“He did not need any testimony about mankind, for he knew what was in each person.” (John 2:25)

Sin is something I am born with and cannot touch— only God touches sin through redemption. It is through the Cross of Christ that God redeemed the entire human race from the possibility of damnation through the heredity of sin. God nowhere holds a person responsible for having the heredity of sin, and does not condemn anyone because of it.

***Condemnation comes when I realize that Jesus Christ came to deliver me from this heredity of sin, and yet I refuse to let Him do so.

IMG_3470From that moment I begin to get the seal of damnation. “This is the condemnation [and the critical moment], that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light…” (John 3:19). (excerpts from My Utmost for His Highest, November 25, 848 R)

I am saved; but am I really ALL IN with God as Lord of ALL my life? Are you? Do I trust Him? In any present tense moment the answer is black or white: yes or no. Trust doesn’t have a gray area. I’m aware that sometimes I’m living as I want to (believing I have a right to myself), in ways that feel good and proper to me, and fitting this “feel good” religion into my definition of life.

God has me in a process of looking at what I believe about Godly living, doing away with much of it (because the world is so immeshed and intertwined in my views), so I can get back to the heart of Christ and His desire for me. Self-effort doesn’t eradicate sin. God does, in our surrender to Him.

IMG_3376“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Romans 12:2)

Lately I’ve landed in the “confused” chapter of the process… What does love look like in THIS situation, God? How can I fit in focused time with YOU and take care of family, work, serving others (all good and necessary things)… How can I totally forgive when the arrows keep flying? God I’m so overwhelmed. Yet nothing I am doing is negotiable. How can You multiply my time and make it all doable… it feels like I’m drowning in my circumstances…

“For God is not a God of confusion but of peace” (1 Corinthians 4:33)

“Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” (1 Peter 5:8)

IMG_1689Of course my adversary is attacking in the midst of all You are accomplishing in my heart. This “chapter,” or diversion really, has his fingerprints all over it…

“Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world.” (1 John 4:1)

Sunday, I heard a powerful verse in a new song — “In over my Head.”

Listen to it all, but here are some excerpts from the lyrics that really impacted me…

“I have come to this place in my life/ I’m full but I’ve not satisfied/ This longing to have more of You/ I can feel it my heart is convinced/ I’m thirsty my soul can’t be quenched/ You already know this but still/ Come and do whatever You want to…

And You crash over me, I’m where You want me to be
I’m going under, I’m in over my head
Whether I sink, whether I swim
It makes no difference when I’m beautifully in over my head.”

IMG_2795What better place to be than deeply immersed and living in Jesus. Inviting Him to overtake more of me. I have a choice… I can be swallowed up by the very real drama and situations of my life, or I can be sure I am immersed in Jesus and His Word through my earthly circumstances… then sink or swim, it doesn’t matter. I am living in His desires. Living for His Kingdom.

Jesus — thank you for Your PROMISES and TRUTH!

“Think over what I say, for the Lord will give you understanding in everything.” (2 Timothy 2:7)

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” (Matthew 7:7)

IMG_0706“But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:31)

If like me, you are thinking, “Jesus I want to go where you lead. To obey YOU. But sometimes, I don’t know how obedience looks in my complicated world. This doesn’t feel practical.” Our very concrete answer is our very first step toward obedience…

Way to often, I neglect my Bible. I rush through devotionals to check a box rather than waiting to hear His still, small voice.

IMG_0269How well do we know the Word of God? Well enough “to discern the difference between human traditions and Scriptural principles? To follow God, we need to know His Word, and we need to know God personally.” (from Michael Youssef’s devotional, same day. God’s hammering it home.)

I used to have a recurring dream. I’m in college… it’s the the morning of a big exam, and I’m totally unprepared for it. I’ve been doing other things… In some cases I haven’t even attended class, much less read the book and notes! Failure is all but assured if we don’t listen to the Teacher and prepare by studying His material… Youssef goes on to say, “Knowing God’s Word is crucial for successfully navigating through the tests we face.”

“I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you” (Psalm 119:11).

Prayer: Jesus thank you for hammering home Your Truths. For reminding me that I sin daily when I believe I have a right to living my own way. That your discipline is not condemning, but restorative. You forgive me fully when I repent.  Help me to seek You and Your Word and to believe Your promises and Truths, so I am prepared for every test of my obedience. Jesus crash over Me! In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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When Everything Around You Is Changing

IMG_2535The planned rhythm of my days was only an illusion. My veiled attempt to bring comfort, understanding and safety to a wild, wild world.

My stress level was too high. I‘m not alone.  ABC News reported that “Gallup Healthways Well Being Index show that women ages 45 to 64 have the lowest well being of any age group or gender.” For the first time ever, women may NOT outlive their spouses.

God gently told me to “stop.” I did, and here I am in an uneasy transition. I’m very busy on the surface with the day-to-day privilege of loving my husband,  2 parents, 5 children and many friends  — all while planning 2 weddings and maintaining a normal household and schedule (much like you, I’m sure).

IMG_1622Yet as far as formal serving,  life goals and purpose go, I’m being much more than I’m doing. What’s happening in me seems to be more significant than the obvious disturbance caused by the empty nest of a Mid-life Mom… Who am I and What am I to Do?

I was recently asked, “what are you doing now that you aren’t working?” I started describing my recent flurry of proudly productive busyness — then stopped.

While a consumer of my time, my to-do list is not my life’s purpose. Not the a real answer to their question. I shifted, “I’m not doing much beyond waiting to hear from God what He has next for me.”

IMG_1739We all felt the awkward silence. Graciously my friend asked, “Are you still playing tennis?”

“Not much, but we are on Young Life Board.” I caved. The respectability of a definable position and purpose eased the uncomfortableness of the moment. The conversation shifted — I avoided prolonged awkwardness and with it intimacy, depth and authenticity.

It occurred to me that I needed to take to heart the ways God has been validating my journey and to be willing to share the uneasy nature of my current season.

You know how when God has a theme for you, it starts appearing in various forms from every direction? Well that’s what’s been happening.

IMG_2834God has asked me to take a step forward — out of my race car into a simpler life (like my Granny’s?). To let go of what’s aways worked and defined “Life” for me and to embrace an unknown, unrevealed future.

I’m reminded of the “already, but not yet” nature of our salvation. Is the Kingdom of God a future reality to be hoped for or a present truth to be experienced? The answer is both. We enjoy many blessings here, but nothing compared to our heavenly inheritance. We can grow and overcome, but we’ll never find perfection on this earth. Jesus has already defeated death, sin and Satan, but we must still fight the war… you get the picture.

IMG_3544He’s called me into the unknown. I know I’ve already stepped into it by faith, but I don’t know what it is — not yet. I’ve been in similar places. Where the rug was seemingly pulled from under me, life took an unexpected turn — I plunged head first into new territory, and God was faithful. Looking back it’s clear that my most important growth has intersected with life changes and transitions.

IMG_2926I’m rarely hospitable when Change first knocks at my door — sometimes it has to bust in. But when God makes it clear that my soul is clay in His hands, I’ve learned to trust Him. He always makes me more fully myself.

This time, His  invitation was gentle. In some ways the subtlety makes it harder to trust that He’s at work. But I have faith that the growth He’s already accomplishing won’t be wasted, even though my path isn’t easily defined or labelled.

IMG_2755Following are some general messages I’ve repeatedly encountered during this already but not yet transition. Things God has been nudging me to live out — helping me to see there is divine purpose in this weird limbo. They all point to fixing my eyes on Jesus and walking in His Truth — always a good strategy.

1. Quit criticizing and complaining.
Negativity is derived from an erroneous belief in perfection. If you’re in a habit of pointing out the bad, switch it around! Point out the positive attributes of a rainy day, an overbearing person, a traffic jam… Perfection is a lie for this world, BUT beauty is all around us.

IMG_2571This is the day that the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalm 118:24)

“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up” (1 Thes 5:11)

“Do not judge, and you will not be judged.Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” (Luke 6:37)

2. Quit glamorizing and reliving the past. Life is in the present moment! If your mind is focused on the past with either longing or regret, not only does it detract from the present, but sometimes you totally miss God’s opportunities. The past is being used by God for your good — no matter how it went down. Today you have gifts to share and people to love. Be fully present.

IMG_1699“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.” (Isaiah 43:18-19)

3. Be Disciplined. Paul said,  “…I take every thought (and project) prisoner to make it obey Christ….” (2 Cor 10:5, parenthesis mine) Much work done in the name of “Christian living” hasn’t been disciplined, but is birthed through personal impulse and desire.  Every undertaking of Jesus was disciplined to the will of His Father — “the Son can do nothing of Himself…” (John 5:19).

Be real — what do we usually do? We jump into every project that seems good, worthy, interesting, fun… immediately, instead of quietly and methodically seeking Christ’s will for us first (This is not to say you can’t respond in the moment, but from a life of abiding).

IMG_1731“Practical work for Christians is greatly overemphasized today… But true determination and zeal are found in obeying God, not in the inclination to serve Him that arises from our own undisciplined human nature.” (My Utmost for His Highest) Though we are well-meaning, we are often simply doing “for God” things we have instigated ourselves.

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” (Romans 12:2)

4. Love.  Is God really my number one love? Do I even try to love my neighbor as myself? I’m not sure who my neighbor is in our modern world — or sometimes what loving looks like. The Greatest Commandment is certainly worthy of my contemplative prayer.

‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.'” (Matthew 22:37-39)

IMG_2131I don’t have it figured out — far from it! My overwhelming reality is that when I get to heaven, I will realize how far from His way I have lived. But I feel thankfulness and hope in this, not condemnation or despair. Thankfulness for the time and freedom to seek His face, and hope that He is transforming me and my life daily to better reflect Him.

If this post resonated with you, please share it through the social media buttons at the bottom of the page. If you want to receive future posts straight to your inbox, let me know in the comments below. Or you can join the Pink Reflections  Facebook community. Thank you!